I’ve just found out the hard way that Morrison‘s own brand “Invigorating Shaving Gel” smells uncannily like Toilet Duck. I suppose at least if I walk past someone nice they’ll think I have a hygienic lavatory. Which can’t be all bad.
Sheep are learning to conquer cattle grids, probably in a bid to escape rampaging Welshmen. Or get food. But the former’s more stereotypical and therefore funnier.
Japanese kids can be called Buttocks or Prostitute, apparently. Or one of umpteen other names, though it seems they’ve revoked Cancer, Rape and Excrement as options.
Hmmm… Excrement Smith. Buttocks Robinson. Vagina-Leigh Wilson.
Actually, it reminds me of an old episode of The Young Ones:
RICK: [fakes laughter] Ha ha ha! No, I was wondering if you’d thought of a name… [Rick points to himself] for your baby yet.
VYVYAN: Shut up or piss off!
RICK: [angered at his rejection] Oh, that’s very nice…
VYVYAN: No, no, those are two names I’m considering. I mean, they’ll be very handy in later life, you know, for getting into fights and things.
As an aside, I’m 82.5% kinky
Wordcount is definitely worth a gander for two reasons.
1) It looks really cool
2) You can find out that “shit” (position 4499 out of 86800) is used more often in the English language than “fuck” (5598), or that “war” (304) is more common than “god” (376) or “peace” (1155).
OK, first off, if anyone really really loves me… and is very rich… could they please buy me this little item from eBay? Thank you.
A few from Ananova now. I always thought… hell. We all know the Japanese are weird. I mean that with the utmost respect for a nation with a wonderful and interesting history. However, anywhere that sells used panties from vending machines has to confess to having issues. Wait till you get a load of these new ice cream flavours though. I think they missed out by not doing a real slug and lettuce flavour. There’s a pub chain over here that may well have bought a load for promotional use.
Chucklesome story of the day comes courtesy of some dopey Aussie stoner. Sometimes a lack of evidence can be a life(term) saver.
Finally, at least we know that Beckham’s skied penalty may benefit someone other than the Greeks. Recently a Portuguese chap sold the ball (that he caught in row Q and smuggled out) on eBay for a fairly hefty sum. It seems a casino in Canada bought it and have some interesting charitable plans for it. Tenner to see if you can beat the same keeper that Beckham couldn’t? Or to see if you can get it higher than row Q?