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At one with my sperm

Something struck me the other day and I’m amazed I hadn’t thought of this before. We all know that sperm are like teeny tiny tadpoles, yes? Well, kids kidnap tadpoled and put them in jars or ponds and stuff. After a while, they grow legs and become frogs which is really cool.

Has anyone ever bothered to leave their sperm along long enough to make sure this doesn’t happen to them either? I mean, whenever I’m done with mine I’ve always chucked the tissue down the loo or whatever. Suffocated them in a rubber balloon, perhaps, or had the sheets thrown in the washing machine.

This, potentially, is mass murder of a potential new species. I mean sperm-frogs could be cool.

Anyway, in a bid to help science along I had a quick think. If you leave the stuff anywhere it sends to go dry, so I assume sperm-frogs need a damp environment to thrive.

As such, I took it upon myself to try and culture the world’s first colony of sperm-frogs. Deciding on a clean but wet location, I deposited some sperm and started my stopwatch to see how long they’d take.

Sadly, as is the bane of all science, a member of the public screwed it all up. I’d popped back into the office to do some work (or blogging), only to go back to the loo an hour later and some bastard had flushed it. Back to square one. Next time maybe I should put signs up.

6 comments to At one with my sperm

  • Just imagine, an army of hopping Iain’s.

    But would it be an eivil army or an army of good.

    Mmmmwwwwhhhhaaaaaaaa!!!!

  • Caz UNITED KINGDOM

    Worrying, not the experiment but the fact that i can and did while reading, imagine you actually making a little petry dish of mini iains!

    Im sure there must be something hygiene related that would stop people doing this, i just cant think of anything at the moment.

  • Janetyjanet UNITED STATES

    Eeeeeeeeeeeevil
    eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil I tells ye

  • I thought they died? If not kept at the right temperature (lower than normal body temperature, hence the balls hanging outside the body)? You can tell which bit of O’level biology I was most interested in….

    BTW, I like the mousey icon thingy hand thingy.

  • Well, the loo water temperature is lower than body temperature. I know they go all gunky and stuff if you wank in the bath. No wonder you lot complain if you get it in your hair – must be a bugger to wash out.

    Anni’s also the first to notice the hand thingy without being prompted to look! Thank you!

    Oh, and Andy – how the *hell* did you find that link? You weren’t trawling through porn, were you?

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