I am ashamed

I am a bad boy. I did some DIY this afternoon (huge thanks to Steve for his help) and around halfway through the 2 hours’ slog, arsefuck had his stereo whacked up to near Disaster Area volumes.

Fine, I thought, we’ve been hammering away since midday. I’m not going to whinge now.

Come 2:00 and the job was done. So I popped next door. Being polite at first (as I always am – I only lose my rag if polite doesn’t work), I first of all apologised for the banging but said that I was all done and could they knock the volume down a bit now.

I then got a tongue-lashing for waking “him” up after he worked late last night.

I am ashamed because I kept my tempter. Instead of doing what I should have done, I pointed out – again, politely – that they should have knocked on the door and I’d have done the work at another time. I even stressed that they should please do this next time. After all, if they know they can whinge at me it makes it look less of a one-way street.

What I really ought to have done was laugh, say “good” and pointed out that it made up for him and his squealing friend waking me up at 2:45am on Wednesday.

Thank fuck I’m off out to watch the match in an hour. I’m rapidly running out of patience with the selfish, insolent, rude little cocksucker.

Whoops. Missed one.

Ah, yes. Sorry about that. I didn’t get in till stupidly late from the footie last night so I kinda forgot to post anything. My interwebnet connection was shite anyway, though it’s miraculously sorted now.

I popped into Tesco at lunchtime today. Every single one of the little plastic dividers on the conveyor belt had the following printed on:

Dont forget your ClubCard

If you can’t spot the mistake (and the shop manager obviously didn’t) go to the back of the class and carry on picking your arse, you braindead cuntfuck.

And because I’ve not mentioned for a while

George Bush is a complete fucking retard.

Oh bugger, it’s only Tuesday

Don’t fuck with the family

Just read another headline on the BBC News site – “Extortion trial of son of Mafia godfather ends in hung jury”.

Isn’t that a bit fucking harsh? I thought they just bribed them or threatened their kids. Isn’t there a retrial if the entire jury is lynched?


Many’s the time I go for a slash (urinate, for you foreign types) and people comment afterwards “have you washed your hands?”

The answer’s pretty much almost always “no”. I’m 31. I no longer piss all over my hands when I go to the toilet. It took practise, but finally I managed it.

However, if I have a shit and my finger goes through the paper then I’ll make sure I scrub it all out from under my fingernail.

Pipex in “are shit” shocker

I have been on hold to Pipex customer “support” for 55 minutes as I type this. My internet connection is, frankly, bollocks. I’ve checked with my neighbour who’s on the same phone exchange via AOL and is having no problems.

Pipex, on the whole, have been shitter than they have been good over the years. Fine when things tick over, but when it goes wrong it goes really wrong. I’ve had:

  • their mail server crash and take a week’s worth of mail with it (when I was in Nigeria a couple of years back)
  • 2 years of constant line-dropping until they finally put the issue through to BT who fixed it within 2 days
  • this dodgy connection
  • an hour-long call cut off while still on hold without ever speaking to anyone
  • a snail-mail letter never replied to when I complained
  • more than one support call logged by email with a response saying I would have a human getting back to me within 24 hours… and never heard back about it ever
  • this current call – 60 minutes on the dot
  • a failing to put a proper spam and virus filter in place on their email servers, instead choosing to supply users with a “reduced price” Norton solution – which is completely useless in regards to webmail. And then refusing to reply to my complaints about this
  • consistantly refusing to remove my Pipex email address from the CC: field on all their emails to me, despite constant complaints and reminders to do so as it causes all their “important” mails to go into my spam bin (this in turn due to the previous issue)
  • an utterly useless “service status” page that tells you about problems after they’re fixed, including an item about their news servers that’s been up there for over a year

Well, fuck ’em. I gave them a chance over the years and I can’t be bothered any more. I’d quite happily shift, but I have some problems. One is finding somewhere cheaper that’ll do migrations (i.e. I don’t have a noticeable disruption in service or a reconnection fee) and one that won’t tie me in for too long as I’m toying with moving house within 12 months.

Soon as I find somewhere, however, I am offski… Does anyone have any recommendations? I’d prefer a non-capped solution, but I’m prepared to go for something with a reasonably large download limit. And I only need 1Mb as that’s all my exchange is capable of.