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Bizarre Kiwi radio ads

I’m listening to The Rock online while I’m in Hanoi, and some of the adverts are somewhat… more adult than you’d get back home.

As well as the one featuring copious uses of the word “bugger” detailed on my travel blog, I’ve heard some corkers over the last two days. Starting with one for an escort service’s web page where you can see all the munters… I mean “girls” before you hire one to suck you off. Allegedly. OK, you hire one to accompany you on a night out because you’re a social failure, then slip her an extra $100 to suck you off later in the evening as an agreement between consenting adults, or something.

Then there was an ad for an adult store selling XXX DVDs for only $10 (I’ll be stocking up when I get back). Not something I think the Radio Authority would allow in the UK. After all, porn and heavy metal both corrupt children and turn them into bedwetting Satanists.

I should know.

The advert immediately after that one was for the White Cross. An emergency, 24-hour clap clinic. I shit you not. Nob doctors advertising on radio.

Final one was fairly humorour. I can’t remember the exact lines, but it was along the lines of:

FX: grunt, squeak, squeak
Male: Argh, oh yes!
Female: *sigh*
Announcer: Are you a 40-second Freddy? Let us do weird things to your penis and you’ll be a 40-minute Freddy instead!
FX: grunt, squeak, squeak, squeak
Male: Are you ready yet?
Female: Oh, I’ve been past ready for ages, Freddy! You’re amazing!

I mean, for fuck’s sake…

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