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No it isn’t

Before you wish me a “merry xmas”, read the title. It’s a shitty one.

I am in India. In a crap hotel. With music blaring from the hotel next door which is stopping me sleeping. I bored.

Because I’m bored, my mind is going in circles. All I can think of is how much I miss my ex-girlfriend and how much I wish we could get back together. And how much fun she’s probably having with her family and not giving a fuck about me.

The only thing I’m grateful for is Hans, my travelling companion who’s done more than he knows in keeping my mind occupied at times.

I’m not homesick, but I wish I was at home simply so that I could go to someone’s house and be with people just so I wasn’t spiralling into the depths of depression once more.

I think it’s just because after Lou being abroad last year and me at home, I was so looking forward to xmas this year – our first together. For the first time in more years than I can remember I was actually looking forward to December. And then it was all taken from me when Lou dumped me, for reasons I still don’t understand.

So there you go. Merry fucking christmas, my arse. Worst one ever, frankly.

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