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dfs are fucking cunts


dumb fucking shits

dumb fucking shits

And another in my long series of British companies that suck so much arse, they’re chewing on shitty intestine. Today’s guilty party – dfs.

This post should have gone up ages ago. I just spotted it sat in my “drafts” folder, but it’s still pertinent. dfs are still utter fucking shit and the truth needs to come out. The outcome of the following letter was the company continually trying to call Leah during her work hours – when she can’t answer her phone. Then being unavailable when she called back. Then ignoring her instructions to call back when she could again switch her phone on.

The total of the compensation offered for all the inconvenience, time and lost income described in the letter? £50. Utterly insulting.

Basically, they’re bloody useless and unable to do pretty much anything regardless of how simple. A company which not only fails to complete the simplest of tasks, but then goes on to snowball cockup after cockup until they have so much egg smeared on their faces they’re a likely source of avian flu.

Fuck ‘em.

Here’s the letter I sent to their MD after the piss-ant at their Aberdeen store refused to so much as come to the phone and deal with the problems. Everything’s explained below. Some names and places abbreviated for anonymity.

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to complain in the strongest terms about the ridiculous service (or lack of it) we received while awaiting delivery of a sofa from your company a couple of weeks ago. I do apologise for taking to long to write about this, but given the dreadful delays we suffered, I’m sure this is par for the course with dfs.

The delivery date was set by your Aberdeen store as the 16th of October. My girlfriend, Ms O, arranged the day off work to ensure that someone would be in for the delivery. I managed to make sure I’d be around in the latter part of the day in case she had to go out as you couldn’t even specify a morning or afternoon delivery window. I guess this should have been a bad sign from the outset.

By the time I arrived at lunchtime, there was no sign of the sofa. At around 15:00, she called to be told not to worry – the sofa was on the truck in the local town of K—- so it would be delivered today as the driver and crew had to be home in Aberdeen by 17:00. Fine. A long wait in the house, but you get used to these things.

At 17:05 we thought it better to check again as it was getting dangerously close to rush hour and the time that a lot of shops shut. Again, we were advised to be patient and if it was on the lorry – which we had already been told it was – it would be delivered that day.

Lo and behold, we were on the phone at 18:05 asking where the sofa was. We were told that they had tried to deliver the sofa but since we weren’t in that the delivery men had left a note on our door explaining they’d tried to deliver and had received no answer. We checked the door. No note. Therefore no attempted delivery, and besides we’d not left the apartment all day. Obviously, as tempers were already on edge we didn’t appreciated being called liars.

We were told someone would look into it and call back. But that the van had likely been delayed elsewhere and that it would definitely be with us.

Neither happened. At 19:00 I rang to cancel the dinner arrangements we’d made for the night. I am rarely in the area due to work commitments at present and the delay and ineptitude your company showed deprived us of a rare dinner in a very nice restaurant. However, we had been told the sofa would arrive and after sitting around (in her case for nigh on 11 hours by this stage) there was no way we could risk being out when it turned up.

We called again at around 19:50 and talked to one store member who was in the process of pulling the shutters down. At this point, I had to take over the telephone calls as my better half was in floods of tears. At this point, your actions passed from a pathetic inability to do a simple job into the realms of the unforgivable. Wasting her time is one thing, ruining our night out is another, but reducing her to tears has earned your company a very determined and very angry enemy.

The manager finally deigned to call us back at around 20:00 and apologies, saying he would look into things. I made him agree to call us back before 9:00 the next morning which he duly promised to do.

Your Aberdeen store manager, Mr Koray, is at best inept. He’s certainly not one to keep a promise and I’d go as far as to say he’s a liar. The telephone call the next morning did not materialise. When I rang at 9:30 the next day to chase him, he was “in a meeting”. The young lady on reception who got the bulk of my ire (and an apology – I realise your company’s failings are not her fault) gave me the number of the delivery company, who I then called.

The young lady there told me they had been unable to deliver the sofa as the address and contact number on the forms had been incorrect. However they could have the sofa to us by 13:00… but that it was payment on delivery. Therein arose another problem. I was the only one in the flat as my girlfriend could not organise another day off on short notice. I’m sure this isn’t a problem for your management staff as they seem to assume us lesser mortals can just not turn up for work as we feel. I had to re-arrange two morning appointments and agree to work on site out of hours (at daytime rate) to free up my morning. You guessed it – this blew another possible evening in a restaurant out of the water.

I contacted the store again and explained that I could not pay for the sofa when it arrived, but that I fully expected delivery. I suggested that perhaps Ms O could contact them and pay over the phone using the card she’d used for the deposit, but obviously the poor girl on reception couldn’t authorise this. However, Mr Koray could, and I insisted on her interrupting his “meeting” (or whatever he calls sitting in his office with the door locked hiding from customers) which she duly did.

He authorised this transaction, the deal was made and I called the delivery firm again. They said that everything was fine and that the sofa – as agreed – would be with us before 13:00. This would just give me time to sort things out before having to run out and meet customers for an afternoon appointment.

Oh, how I live in hope sometimes. The sofa delivery commenced, finally, at 12:55. Only they hadn’t brought the right tools to get the feet on. It took thirty minutes to get the sofa into the room, and they tried their best with a screwdriver (and stripped the top of one of Ms O”s) before locating an electric drill in their van. With a flat battery. So off they went to locate one, promising to be back by 16:00. Incidentally, they blamed dfs for failing to give them the correct address or phone number the previous day. From looking at the delivery note I had to agree as the address was a muddle and the phone number had been incorrectly transcribed. I don’t know if this is their fault or yours, and frankly I don’t care. Sort that out between you.

By now, my girlfriend had come home for lunch to find the sofa half-fixed, with one foot on wonky and the right arm not quite fitting properly (it was removed to get the sofa the door, and does not sit flush with the front). Again, she burst into tears – for which I can hardly blame her – and I called to rearrange another two appointments. I really should start totting up the cost of this unpaid out of hours work and submit my bill to you. I think it would about cover the cost of the sofa.

The worker with the working drill finally turned up – just within the agreed time, which is more than they’d managed the day before – and put the feet on. After a fashion. And after moving one of them so it was in the right place.

So, originally agreed delivery time – at some point on October 16th. Actual delivery finished – end of the working day on the 17th. Absolutely appalling. As I said, I don’t care if it was dfs failing to pass on details, or the delivery companies who couldn’t read someone’s handwriting. We were lied to on more than one occasion, treated with contempt and – to cap it all – were called by Mr Koray at around 18:30 to ask how things had gone. His promised phone call was over 7 hours late, and his excuse was that he “had other people to handle things like this”. If I were his superior, I’d be having serious words with a manager with this atrocious attitude.

Please allow me to summarise. Your company has managed to:

  • reduce Ms O to tears on two occasions
  • waste an entire day of her holiday time for no good reason
  • lie to us
  • refuse/be unable to return a simple phone call at a promised time
  • send “installers” to put together a sofa without the correct tools
  • prevent us from going out to dinner on two separate nights (one a prior booking)
  • make me look like a fool to paying customers
  • cost me over £500 due to re-arranging scheduled work for out-of-hours

Overall, we’re simply not very impressed. By the morning of the 17th I was all for telling you – in great anatomical detail – where to shove your sofa, but my girlfriend was adamant that this was the one she wanted. The deposit had also been paid and if you couldn’t handle a simple delivery I feared for your ability to refund money.

So to my eyes, we’ve spent the thick end of a grand on a very nice sofa which doesn’t look quite like it did in the shop. Had one night out ruined, wasted a day’s accrued holiday and lost out on several hundred pounds and more free time making it up. Oh, and did I mention you had my girlfriend in tears? Never, ever, have I been more furious at a company which has failed to perform a simple task and – sad it is to say – I’ve dealt with quite a few.

Obviously, we expect some kind of financial recompense. I will leave it to you to make a decision on what our suffering is worth to you and see if we can some to some agreement. Nothing will ever make me shop with your shambolic outfit again. However, money seems to be the only thing that businesses understand so let’s see what you think this mess should cost you.

I was going to CC this missive to Mr Koray, but frankly I can’t be bothered wasting a stamp. He’d only pass it on to one of his “capable” employees instead. If a manager doesn’t deal with rightly angry customers, then I don’t know what else he does with his time. Frankly, if he was one of my staff and he’d dealt with a customer like he dealt with us (or failed to), he’d be handing in his name badge and walking out the door clutching a P45.

Please note that the contact details above will get you to Ms O, and not myself. I am currently working in France until Christmas and things are somewhat hectic. This explains the delay in informing you of your company’s shortcomings, and why it’s going to be so long before I get a chance to take my girlfriend out for dinner again. Having missed the only two opportunities I had last month. Did I mention that yet?

Kindly do not ask Mr Koray to make contact, however. Neither of us want to have the slightest thing to do with him.

Awaiting your reply patiently,

(etc)

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