My car smells of booze

Smashy Smashy

It’s been a while (again) since I had a non-review post on this blog, mainly as I post everything on Google+ and Facebook these days. In a bid to redress that balance, here’s a quick post about something that happened last night.

I’d popped out for the evening to see an old uni mate. Gillian asked me to pick her up a bottle of wine while I was out, which I duly did. The thing is, you can’t buy alcohol from the supermarket after 10pm up here so I had to buy it as I left the house, ferry it around and bring it home later on. Me being me, I also couldn’t just buy a bottle of wine. Not when Morrisons were doing cider on three for £5.

So I loaded the car up with my plastic bag containing one bottle of rosé, two Koparberg’s and a Bulmer’s for later.

I drove to Tom’s, stashed the booze in the boot for safe keeping, enjoyed my evening and headed home around 11pm. I even remembered, on the way back, to get the booze back out of the boot so it wasn’t slamming around when I went round corners.

Just as you get into our estate, there’s a single-lane humpbacked bridge. I waited for the lights to go green and drove over. Just as I went down the other side, a beautiful full-grown fox darted out in front of the car.

I jammed on the brakes.

The fox stopped, stared at me, pooped a bit of fox poop into its fox underwear and scarpered back off from whence it came.

The bag of bottles slid off the passenger seat into the footwell.

You know that “pop” sound that large bottles make when they are no longer bottle-shaped? Yeah, I heard that. As I pulled into the driveway I could smell the alcohol.

Thankfully, as everything was in a bag, there was no broken glass to dig around for. The three cider bottles had survived, but the wine was now only drinkable by a very desperate alcoholic who didn’t mind the mingled taste of carpet fibre.

So I now have a car that stinks of booze instead of stinking like “new car”. I am dreading being pulled over for something innocuous and then being forced to have a blood test because my car has been drinking and not me.

Thanks to those on facebook who’ve recommended something to get the smell away. Off to Morrison’s shortly to see if I can find any of the scary chemicals mentioned…

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