Despicable Me

Me being me, I like variety. Plus, I must be the only person who can visit Bangkok for a day and spend 4 hours of it in a cinema…

Predators

“It’s a trap”

The original came out in 1987, the sequel with Danny Glover not much later (I saw it again recently – it was pants). Finally, in 2010 we get a proper sequel to Arnie’s alien shooter. It’s been given the Aliens treatment, hence the pluralised title, in that there is more than one predator. In fact, as the movie progresses you’ll find out there are quite a lot of them.

The opening’s pretty swift. No messing about with the fact this is an action film and one where the characters and audience begin without a clue as to what’s happening. Assuming you’ve not seen the trailer anyway. For those who want some background:

Eight people (well, 9 – you’ll see the ninth very early on) are kidnapped from earth and wake up as they drop from a significant height towards a jungle. Each of these people is a member of an elite fighting force or similar. Except one, who seems to have been “lifted” by accident. Work together, or go their own way? And who’s kidnapped them? And why?

Predators doesn’t take long to get going and the large cast get whittled away in no obvious order. The predators themselves are very close to those from the original film, which is welcome. No huge changes as there were with the aliens in the third and fourth films in that franchise.

For those who’ve read the comics and books, there is no great surprise in the way the alien hunters have developed. Some credence is given to the two Aliens v Predators films as well.

The rag-tag bunch aren’t played by any “big-name” actors which makes the order they’ll be plucked off slightly less predictable than usual. Still, just by looking at the bunch from the beginning it’s not difficult to make an educated guess as to who the last handful will be.

While not a classic, this certainly isn’t a bad update on what was – at the time – a classic action/sci-fi film. Building more on the original than any of the sequels was certainly a good decision and I’d certainly be interested in seeing where a sequel could go from here.

Despicable Me

“Curse you, tiny toilet!”

I love my cartoons and this one was great, even though I was forced to watch it in 3D which it really didn’t need, or use very much. Well, except for the end credits which you do need to st through.

Steve Carrell voices Gru, a supervillain. Well, OK. More of a crap villain. Getting on in years and being upstaged by younger villains, Gru sets about the Plan Of The Century – stealing the moon. Trying to stop him is new villain, Vector (Jason Segel), who has stolen the shrink ray that Gru himself pinched.

Thrown into the mix are three little orphan girls who slowly soften Gru down while the stars of the show are without a doubt the “minions”. Countless little yellow guys who are used as experimental objects, punching bags and so forth. They even make the same “waaaaaaaaawww” noise in unison as the little three-eyed aliens from Toy Story. Cute as.

It’s a nice simple plot, the voice acting is superb (with one exception) and the laughs are plenty. Adults will enjoy a few very subtle bits of humour – check the out the former name of the Bank of Evil as Gru enters.

Definitely recommend, but save your money and see it in 2D if you can find anywhere presenting it in that format. I couldn’t.

Oh, and the poor performance? Russell Brand who voices an aging professor. It just doesn’t work. Besides, will people stop hiring this man? He’s a complete funt-wit. Let him vanish into the obscurity he so richly deserves.

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Predators and Despicable Me

                          

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

“This is crazy! But it is fun…”

First film up was the new Nicolas Cage vehicle which I missed the first minute or so of, as I was flipping hungry and ran to A&W before it started. I didn’t miss much, just the “story so far” synopsis which was easy enough to catch up on. It goes something like this:

Back in the day, Merlin (James A. Stephens) was pretty much king of all that is wizardly. However, Morgana (Alice Krige) had plans to defeat him and destroy the world by raising many evil wizards from the dead. Merlin’s understudy Balthazar (Cage) saved the day by trapping Morgana in a Russian doll. Over the years he added “layers” to the doll as he captured other nasty magic-wielders, while searching for the Prime Merlinian – an individual who can cast spells without a magic ring and who is the only person capable of destroying Morgana.

Quick switch to the 21st century and Balthazar finds Dave Stutler (Jake Cherry then Jay Baruchel as the character ages), who turns out to be this Prime Merlinian. A fortuitous find as Dave releases Horvath (Alfred Molina), one of the Morganians who sets out to release and aid Morgana.

OK, plot over. This is an effects-driven movie and said effects are superb. I loved the link between magic and physics – very briefly explained, yet nice and simple. It lends a touch of realism to a fantastical film, and it’s refreshing to hear the things being flung around by magicians being referred to as “plasma”.

I’m gathering that the reviews aren’t that great for this film and that’s a surprise. It’s hugely entertaining. Cage is great in it, obviously having fun, and Baruchel’s not annoying as a young actor can be in films like this. The humour level is spot on, with everything from snappy dialogue to fart gags.

Oh, and not to forget the little film references in there. It’s made by Disney, so there’s a Buzz Lightyear at the start and a very obvious Mickey Mouse-inspired sequence which just had to be included given the film’s name. Even the “hypnosis” moment which instantly made me think of Alec Guinness is name-checked a few seconds later.

This is an ideal popcorn film and something kids and adults alike can enjoy. I just don’t get the poor reviews and attendances. Films are supposed to entertain and this one does the job perfectly.

Inception

“I just want to understand”

A complete counterpoint to the magic of the first offering, Inception is a high-brow sciencey thriller. It’s also a bit of a brainscrambler, often leaving you wondering what the hell’s going on – just like diCaprio’s last outing, Shutter Island.

Leo plays Cobb, a “dream thief”. In this world, people can share dreams and the skilled individual can even create an environment for a third party to explore – so realistic that they don’t know that they’re dreaming. Inside this fake world, others can effectively explore the victim’s psyche and gain information.

The next step is to implant an idea in someone’s head, something regarded as near impossible. This is the “inception” of the title.

Cobb is after one last job to allow him to return to his family in the United States and Saito (Ken Watanabe) offers him this chance. He wants the son of a business magnate to break his father’s companies down into smaller shareholdings to reduce their grasp on the world. To achieve this, the team Cobb forms work out that they will need to “layer” the dreams – one within another within another. This brings about risks – that Cobb is already all to aware of.

As the movie progresses, we not only get a decent twisty plot and some excellent special effects, we also find out a lot more about the history of Cobb.

It’s not that hard to follow once you work out what’s happening and the opening 15 minutes do a good job of explaining it, despite seeming like a short film in their own right. There are plenty of twists and reveals as the two hours plus roll on and it does feel a little long, but that’s a minor complaint.

Told in a good way with extra layers being added as the film progresses, this is definitely a good science fiction film. It also has the best environmental effects since Dark City. Which, if you’ve not seen, you should.

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Sorcerers and Dreamers

                          

The Last Airbender

With a day off courtesy of the typhoon currently dissipating on the east coast of Vietnam, I used the time to check out M. Night Shyamalan‘s latest work.

The Last Airbender (3D)

I gather the reviews of this film haven’t been overly favourable and it definitely has its faults. The plot and storylines aren’t amongst them, though. Based on the TV series Avatar: The Last Airbender, I gather it’s close to the original.

Taking place in a world where people are divided into four “Nations” of Earth, Air, Fire and Water the story follows the reappearance of an Avatar – a spiritual leader who vanished over 100 years ago. This one person was the only one capable of keeping the world in balance. During his absence, the Fire Nation have taken control of the world by force.

Discovered by two members of the South Water Tribe – Katara (Nicola Peltz) and Sooka (Jackson Rathbone) – Aang (Noah Ringer) rapidly becomes the subject of a manhunt by the Fire Nation. They can’t kill him otherwise he’ll be reborn and their search will start all over again, so capturing him is the only option.

There are a couple of good sub-plots, in particular one involving the cast-out Prince Zuko (Dev Patel) and the film looks very impressive. I particularly liked the North Water Tribe’s city and the warships of the Fire Nation.

The biggest let-downs are the acting and the dialogue, which is more stilted than that in a Dan Brown novel. Characters say things that just sound silly at times. Cheese? Gorgonzola. With a sprinkling of mature cheddar.

Did I enjoy it? Yes. The story was pretty good once it got going and I definitely want to see the next part of the story. I only hope that the actors improve by then. I had similar feelings towards the Harry Potter films – the first one was dreadful with amateurish performances from the young cast, but as they’ve progressed there is no denying they’ve improved.

3D is well used. It doesn’t seem to have been added as an afterthought, rather the special effects have been designed with the added dimension in mind.

It’s certainly not a classic in any way, shape or form. But it’s not as awful as some reviews have made out.

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The Last Airbender

                          

Knight and Day

“Nobody follow us or I kill myself and then her!”

Cruise has certainly become known more for his action films in recent years with the Mission Impossible franchise topping that list. Diaz tends to veer more towards comedy. Knight and Day is a wonderful blend of the two that works extremely well with a good story, witty script and ridiculous over-the-top set pieces (although too many are shown in the trailer).

June Havens (Diaz) is a “nobody” travelling back from a shopping trip in Wichita for her sister’s wedding. Roy Miller (Cruise) is an unbalanced rogue secret agent. Fate sees them share a flight where Miller reveals his true identity at which point Havens is caught up in a plot involving a stolen perpetual energy source.

It’s not quite up there on the silly scale with the recent The A-Team but it’s not far behind. It’s nice seeing Cruise playing a fairly off-kilter character and, in my opinion, this is one of Diaz’ best performances. Despite looking sexy, I always found her Charlie’s Angels character annoyingly dizzy.

As with most action films these days, a lot of CGI is used to make the stunts and set pieces far bigger than they should be. A part of me is growing to love this silliness, but another still harks back for the days of the early Bond films where everything was built, destroyed, fallen off and so forth by actual people.

Still, worth the 90,000d I paid for the ticket and the early rise to see the 8:45am performance.

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Knight and Day

                          

Toy Story 3

“The claaaaaaaw!”

I’m assuming anyone reading this is familiar with the first two films and therefore the characters. Some have vanished over time – Andy is after all now 17 years old and about to go to college. He has to choose what to do with his toys – throw them, chuck them in the attic or donate them to a day care centre.

And thus the adventure begins. As usual, Woody is the leader and knows the situation – but the others don’t believe him. This plot line is getting a little thin. You’d have thought the rest of the group would have figured out that he’s on the ball by now.

Visually, the film’s superb. It also has a decent story which really picks up towards the end with some scenes that are really tense as the toys face near certain doom. By tense, I mean near-horrific. Seriously, it’ll scare the youngest kids.

There are some nice harks back to the original film and the cast are on form as ever. John Lasseter has been replaced as director by Lee Unkrich who edited the previous two instalments and he’s done an admirable job.

Still, given the choice, I’d recommend Shrek Forever After over this. Cartoons are meant to be funny and the big green ogre’s final shout has far more laughs than TS3.

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Toy Story 3 (with added D)

                          

The Karate Kid

“Everything… is kung fu.”

Forget Daniel. Forget “wax on, wax off”. Don’t forget Pat Morita as Mr Miyagi (because he was awesome). Welcome Jaden Smith to the canon of incredibly gifted young actors.

This is the perfect “reimagining” of a film that so many of us remember from the 1980′s. What was past is past. The basic premise has bee taken, tweaked, mildly parodied and built on. The cast as superb (this is the best Jackie Chan film in 15 years and certainly his best acting in as long) and the story is a well-crafted take on the original.

Jackie Chan has spent the last 10 years or so trying to recapture his youth when he was, without a doubt, one of the most athletic martial arts stars of all time. However, over the last 10 years or so he’s pumped out comedies and incredibly poor action films using wirework and CGI. The Tuxedo was a complete nadir in his career and should have been buried at the ideas stage. The Karate Kid makes up for this. Instead of pretending not to be old, Chan’s character is based very much on being old.

Jaden Smith, also, is gobsmackingly good. OK, so he comes from good stock. Say what you like about him but his father, Will Smith, can act. And sing. And dance. Jaden’s got the good genes. He’s dedicated, hard-working, emotional, emotive and ridiculously talented. For a child that age to be performing as well as he is both athletically and artistically is, frankly, amazing.

OK, the story. Dre (Jaden) and his mother (Tariji P. Henson) move to Beijing in search of work. Dre finds a girl and a lot of trouble from local bullies. Who happen to know kung fu (note – not karate, this is China!). After one particularly severe beating, Mr Han (Chan) comes to his rescue and agrees to train him in preparation for a tournament.

The plotline is very similar to the 1980′s version, but is definitely up to date. The bad guys are as mean and malicious as the original, but there are some subtle changes. Fans of Morita’s classic will enjoy the hints while not feeling cheated by what could have been a simple remake. Simple things like “cobra” instead of “crane” made it for me. And the fly/chopsticks scene was hilarious.

Watching in a Vietnamese cinema with a crowd who were applauding the competitors in the final competition was a very surreal experience, but it worked well. The simple fact was that the audience were utterly involved in the film. I almost joined them in cheering Dre on in the final.

Do not miss this film. Smith is a revelation. Chan has finally found a niche that suits his post-action star age band. The story is well told. The fight scenes are superb. The side plots are emotional and not overdone.

I loved The A-Team but this is a very different 80′s remake. Hannibal’s company make for silliness. This is just a great story, very well told.

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Karate Kid

                          

The A-Team

Big, brash and silly this is a great update of a classic bit of TV trash.

The A-Team

“He’s trying to fly that tank”

Remakes and updates are dangerous territory. There’s the risk of destroying fond memories or of throwing money at a project that simply doesn’t match up to the original. A-Team manages to be a great modern version of something which, when I went back to watch it recently, was really rather crap.

With the special effects being done by WETA and several other houses, you know this is going to be just chock full of graphics, stunts and over-the-top silliness. It certainly doesn’t disappoint. Any of you who care about the laws of physics would be well recommended to take a “suspend belief” pill before settling into your seat.

The film very much acts as a “how it all began” story, sticking fairly well to the original premise. One major difference, though, is that people do get shot and killed – something that never seemed to happen in the TV series. Hannibal (Liam Neeson) is the head honcho with all the ideas, Quinton Jackson is a huge, mohawked BA Baracus, Bradley Cooper woos the ladies as Faceman and Sharlto Copley is a suitably bonkers “howling mad” Murdock.

Jackson, in honesty, is a little clunky and hard to understand at the start of the film. I’m guessing he’s an ex-wrestler or something and making a break into films due to his bulk. The rest of the cast are pretty much spot on. The banter between them is also sharp and got quite a few laughs from the Vietnamese crowd (and myself).

For some reason it still felt a little over-long and segmented, but perhaps that was down to me being ridiculously tired when I watched it. It’s definitely over-the-top, has some utterly stupid stunts (even moreso than The Losers, which is saying something) and almost certainly will lead to a sequel.

Dare I hope for as good an update for Airwolf?

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A-Team review

                          

Shrek Forever After

“Do the roar”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: In a bad moment, Shrek exchanges one day of his past for a day back being a “real” ogre – but doesn’t count on the consequences.

OK, I’m in Vietnam and I’m watching western films. In my defence this one had Vietnamese subtitles. The cinema was also crammed and there was a constant undercurrent of little kids babbling and giggling. In other words, the perfect atmosphere.

It was also in 3D and from the childish “woah!”s and “oooooh”s, I’m guessing at least a few of the audience hadn’t seen a 3D film before!

Before going on about the film, something else impressed me. As I said, it was subtitled which is unusual for a kid’s film. Generally, in Thailand you get the film in English. And you get one dubbed in Thai (or whatever language elsewhere) as young children will not have time to read all the subtitles. I was amazed to hear the kids laughing at the jokes – not just the visual stuff, but the jokes. Given the ages of some of them it says a lot about their reading ability.

Anyway, the movie. Frankly I thought Shrek 3 was a bit of a disappointment. This is a return to form and a great end to the series with a couple of new characters and a great take on the existing ones. Shrek changes history with his wish and we get to see Fiona as a warrior princess, Puss as a fatty, Gingerbread Man as a gladiator and so on.

I may also say that Fiona – bar the green skin – is bloody attractive for a cartoon character. Especially in armour. I guess I’m a little weird. And, yes, I mean in ogre form. Hmm. Yes. I have issues.

Anyhoo, the laughs are frequent, the dialogue sharp, the visuals possibly the best I’ve seen so far, the story tight and the characters perfect. As ever, in my opinion, Puss steals the show with his lines, attitude and big soppy eyes.

There’s not a lot else to write without giving away the story, but if you felt let down by the last one – give this final chapter a shot.

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Shrek 4 – a Shrek too far?

                          

Ong Bak 3

I’ve got 3 days of spare time in Pattaya – moreso now that my diving day has been cancelled – and was quite happy to spot a cinema when I was walking around. Even happier when I realised that Wednesday was “discount day” at 80B per film – less than £2. So despite being flipping knackered, I caught two movies.

Ong Bak 3

Plot-in-a-nutshell: orphaned ass-kicker takes revenge on nasty man who made him an orphan. I think. Something like that.

Sorry for the vagueness, but OB3 continues the weirdness that kicked off about halfway through Ong Bak 2. Tony Jaa, as ever, stars – and directed, scriptwrites, produces… He’s like Peter Jackson was back in the day. Wouldn’t surprise me if he sings the theme song at the end a la Jackie Chan.

The films follows on directly from OB2 with Tien in chains and about to be executed. Ass-kicking ensues and he escapes. The girl/love interest from the first film makes a re-appearance as does the insane guy for comic relief. He’s got some good lines in this one, but his appearance is still jarring in an otherwise strait-laced movie.

We get to see the creation of the statue which is the centrepiece of the fist Ong Bak movie as well as more elephant-related fight sequences. As ever, it’s the fight scenes which stand out above all else although they’re interspersed a little too much with plot. At times, the film seems to stall as it crawls down the “arty” pathway.

Despite the excellent performance from Jaa, and the wonderful “look” of the film it’s still just a bit too weird for my liking. It’s good to see the series run full circle and hopefully come to an end. With luck this means we can expect something new and different with his next release.

The Losers

“That was supposed to be us.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Bad man tries to kill bunch of mercenaries who decide that, fair’s fair, they should try to kill him in return.

Despite being based on a DC Comic, this is a British creation being based (loosely) on the first six issues which were scripted by 2000AD‘s own Andy Diggle and drawn by “Jock“. Other than that, though, this is very much an American action movie.

The titular Losers are a bunch of mercenaries sent to do off-the-book dirty work. One jobin South America goes a little wrong and their boss attempts to kill them. This, surprisingly, doesn’t go down well so they set off to return the favour.

That’s about it for the plot as the film just careers through set piece after set piece. It harks back to it’s comic beginnings frequently with many shots frozen on screen or paced to look like frames on a drawn page. I liked that. It’s also big and brash in a way that comics often are, including one of the mist ridiculous finale scenes I think I’ve ever seen.

It’s a silly film, but it’s also funny, fast-paced and enjoyable. The dialogue is quite humorous in places and at no point will your brain be taxed by what happens. Despite this, one arsehole a few seats over kept telling his girlfriend what was about to happen just in case she was struggling to follow it.

If you like big guns, huge explosions and a plot you don’t need to think too hard about then this is well worth the trip to the cinema.

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Two films in Thailand

                          

Shorts

“What’s wrong with you? Oh buddy where do I begin?”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: boy finds magic wishing stone and everything goes mental. Only in the wrong order.

Robert Rodriguez is a very hard director to pin down style-wise. Having done everything from Spy Kids to Sin City – horror, action and kids’ flicks. This is very much one of the kiddie ones and definitely one more aimed at them than one that’ll capture too many adults as well.

Set in a weird town owned and run by one Mr. Black, all of the adult inhabitants work for his company that make a multi-use device called the Black Box. Our protagonist Toe (Jimmy Bennett) is bullied at school by Cole’s two children, Helvetica (Jolie Vanier) and Cole (Devon Gearhart).

Toe tells us the story, but it’s done as a series of shorts presented in the wrong order. Imagine a mad kids film done in the style of Pulp Fiction and you’re kinda there. He tells us how he finds a magic wishing stone which causes all sorts of problems (we all know wishes in films never work out as they should) in a series of episodes featuring the kids and adults of the town.

As I said earlier, this film will appeal a lot to children, but not to much to accompanying adults. It’s not bad, but doesn’t have much of that humour that would go over children’s heads while making adults giggle. There are little aliens, sentient growing snot, rocket cycles and the like. In fact, the first scene into the credits features two of these and it’s pretty cool.

I kind of enjoyed it, but I’m glad I didn’t bother seeing it at the cinema. It whiled away 90 minutes on my flight, though.

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Shorts – not pants