Drive

“There are no good sharks?”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: quiet guy gets involved in a crime to help out a friend and it all goes pear shaped

See it if you like: shocking, grisly violence with a dash of pathos

If you’ve seen Shoot ‘Em Up, this isn’t a million miles away as far as the basic plot goes. However, the out and out bullet-fest of Clive Owen‘s effort is instead drawn out and played in a much quieter – though no less lethal style – by Ryan Gosling.

The plot is fairly simple. Gosling plays a part-time stunt driver, part-time mechanic (and part-time getaway driver) who says very little. He gets to know his pretty next door neighbour (Carey Mulligan) and offers to help her husband out when he’s released from prison with a ton of “we stopped you getting knifed inside” debt. Unfortunately, the job goes belly-up and our lead is left trying to figure out what went wrong and why.

Cue bad guys hunting him down, and a sudden surge of protectiveness welling from our quiet yet violent hero.

The pace of the film may be too slow for some – certainly this was Gillian’s main complaint and I can see what she means. However, I personally thought it was well done. There are periods where little happens, but it’s a reflection of the character himself. He’s not impetuous. He’s careful, patient and plans well. Even the opening sequence is a mixture of short adrenaline bursts and stomach-clenching tension during long moments where nothing happens. It’s a bit of a gamble by director Nicolas Winding Refn, but it pays off.

As the film goes on, Gosling’s character reveals more of the bastard he really is – both verbally and in his actions. From virtually mute, his spoken scenes get longer but almost always when he’s threatening someone. And when those threats are followed through… yow.

The splatter scenes aren’t for the faint of heart. One scene was – according to the director – cut quite drastically as it was too much for the MPAA. What remains is predominantly off-camera, but still grisly. The guy sat next to me was a giggle. Every time something violent occurred 0n-screen, he sat with his hand clamped over his mouth and his eyes bugging out! I hate to think what he’d be like in a screening of a Final Destination movie.

A bit slow going, as I said, but worth the effort. Nothing hugely original, but very well acted and filmed.

Red State

“Simple just shit itself”

Plot-in-a-nutshell – a mad-as-a-box-of-badgers religious sect kidnaps three teenagers. Coincidentally, the ATF turn up at their doorstep to check on a few alleged firearms irregularities. Comedy does not ensue.

See it if you like – seeing an established director take a fresh direction

Funnily enough, I’m enjoying this film more on reflection than I did at the time. Part of this is down to the fact that I’ve just found out that the special effects budget was only $5000 and the entire thing was shot in 25 days, in order and with a cast partly including family members of the crew to keep the costs down.

If you’re expecting a gross-out comedy along the lines of Chasing Amy or a film full of Clerks-esque monologues then you’ll be disappointed. The longest monologue in the film goes to Michael Parks who plays Abin Cooper, insane leader of a small cult which may or may not be based on the real-life Westboro Baptist Church ( sadder, more pathetic bunch of fuck-rags you’ll be hard pressed to find in the western world). Sadly, this monologue is just a load of Christian claptrap and drags on far too long. Yes, we gathered he’s a nut-job. Yes, we know he’s using the Bible to justify his hatred of gays. We don’t need ten minutes of bonkers preacher man to prove it.

Other than that one segment, the film moves along at quite a pace. However, at times it doesn’t quite seem to know what it wants to be. Or what is it. Or where it was when they finished filming the day before. A case in point is just after the introduction of John Goodman‘s ATF agent. The screen goes black with a caption: “4:27am”. Yes, fine, but why tell us the time at that point in the film at at absolutely no other? Unless it’s one of the ten “Easter eggs” that director Kevin Smith says are hidden in the film.

Given the amateur status of so many of the cast, their performances are pretty damn good and the story is an interesting one – disjointed though it may be. There are some laughs, mainly of the darker variety, and don’t get too attached to any of the characters…

The ending is also rather sudden and does smack of “we’re running out of cash… how can we wrap this up?” syndrome.

At the time, we both came out of the cinema thinking “Well… that was OK”. Looking back, though, there are some good moments and it’s worth considering.

Related articles

• ~ Drive ~ (threeheels.wordpress.com)
• Drive (bristolculture.wordpress.com)
• Drive, Nicolas Winding Refn, 100 mins (18) Crazy, Stupid, Love. Glenn Ficarra, John Requa, 118 mins (12A) (independent.co.uk)
• Drive (2011, Nicolas Winding Refn) (faircomments.wordpress.com)
• Movie Review: Red State (blogcritics.org)
• Red State – review (guardian.co.uk)
• Kevin Smith exits comfort zone (bbc.co.uk)
• Red State, Kevin Smith, 88 mins (18) The Debt, John Madden, 113 mins (15) (independent.co.uk)
• Movie Review | ‘Red State’: Kevin Smith’s ‘Red State’ – Review (movies.nytimes.com)

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Drive / Red State

Bridesmaids

“I’ve seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: aging spinster is chosen to be head bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding – a friend who has recently garnered a new “best friend” who tries that bit too hard to impress.

See it if you like: A bit of off-colour humour in an otherwise by-the-numbers rom-com.

Basically, this was the only film left that I’d not already seen. The trailers make it out to be The Hangover with fallopian tubes and in small segments, it’s getting there. However, overall it’s far closer to being a standard chick-centred rom-com, only with some bad language and fart (and shit and vomit) jokes thrown in.

As a result, it was actually a bit better than I expected but still had issues. It’s got quite the running length and, frankly, could have done with a bit of a pruning. A couple of scenes are uncomfortably annoying to watch, the joke in them being stretched that bit too long. Key amongst these is the scene where Annie (played by co-writer Kristen Wiig) discovers that her childhood friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) has a new “best friend”, Whitney (Jessica St. Clair). Their back and forth attempts to get the last word in pass “humorous” after the second bout. By the fifth, it’s just plain annoying.

This is typical of a couple of the scenes, and it’s a shame. With a bit more judicious editing, the film could have been that bit better and those sliced segments would have bolstered a “director’s cut” on DVD.

The performances are pretty good across the board and it’s got some really good laughs. Definitely better than I expected it to be, but nowhere near as gut-bustingly funny as the first viewing of The Hangover with which it is trying so hard to be compared.

Related articles

• Bridesmaids (bigsteveg.wordpress.com)
• BRIDESMAIDS Review (collider.com)
• Movie Review: Bridesmaids (2011) (pacejmiller.wordpress.com)
• Bridesmaids… the ladette version of The Hangover that’s hilariously lewd (mirror.co.uk)

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Bridesmaids

Kung Fu Panda 2

“This could be the end of Kung Fu.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: A threat to kung-fu is unleashed by a scary peacock. Only the gang from the first film (who else?) can stop it.

See it if you like: CGI cartoons with decent humour, great visuals and a developing story.

Like the Shrek series, Kung Fu Panda takes the events of its first film and starts to add more detail, fleshing out the characters. In this one, we focus on Po‘s past. After all, did you really thing a panda was fathered by a stork?

Surrounding this extra level of characters detail is a story about a terrifying force which could destroy kung fu as we know it. Po and his cohorts are charged with hunting down the source of this evilness and destroying it. This is done in a very visually pleasing way with some good gags and great voice acting from a superb cast.

I confess, however, that I never really warmed to it in much the way the first one never really got my imagination going. I much preferred the original on DVD after a couple of watches – I didn’t think that much of it in the cinema either. No idea why not – they’re both my kind of film – but something just didn’t hit home for me.

At least it’s a more original sequel than Hangover 2, and it kept all three kids who were with us entertained. Little Mister was so enraptured he forgot to drink his Capri-Sun for about 20 minutes.

Related articles

• Kung Fu Panda 2 Review (screenrant.com)
• Kung Fu Panda 2 – Movie (mirlz.wordpress.com)
• MOVIE REVUE: Kung Fu Panda 2 Aims and Misses (therogersrevue.wordpress.com)
• Kung Fu Panda 2: Jack Black is excellent in marital arts mayhem movie (mirror.co.uk)
• Kung Fu Panda 2 Movie Review – More Action, Less Funny (screenhead.com)

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Kung Fu Panda 2

Image via Wikipedia

Sorry for the awful pun. It had to be done.

For those who don’t know, Scratch is a programming language geared primarily at younger children. We use it with our S2 classes (around 12-13 years old) although I am aware of many primary schools who also introduce it to children at a younger age.

Frankly, after a bit of struggling to begin with, I’ve found it to be a great language. Sure it doesn’t have a solution to every problem and yes, you often have to fiddle around a lot to get it to do precisely what you want but for the level it’s aimed it, it’s a fantastic tool.

The best thing is the layout. It’s bright, clear and gives very fast results. The colour-coding of different data types makes it easy for children to spot how the programs are put together. There’s no typing necessary (other than the occasional number) as the programs are built using jigsaw pieces with code on. The pieces change shape dynamically as code is formed into loops and the like. All very pretty.

Over the holidays I spent an hour or two with Little Miss (aged 10) who was very impressed with the simplicity. She managed to create a couple of short animations on her netbook. I went into full-on geek mode and created the attached Ghostbusters game (no copyright theft intended – it just seemed like a nice name).

Use the mouse to point your gun in the right direction and the space bar to fire. There are seven levels, on each of which you have ten bullets and have to hit the ghost five times. Clear a level using exactly five bullets and you get a bonus.

You can download Scratch from http://scratch.mit.edu/ for free. There are versions for Windows, Mac and more penguin-oriented operating systems.

My ghost-busting title is available as a single file here: Ghostbusters (ZIP file, 2.8Mb)

UPDATE: you can play the game online here!

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Scratch-ing an itch

Image by Iain Purdie via Flickr

I first Saw Bowling For Soup at Download some years ago and thought they were rather good fun. When I saw they were playing Glasgow last year I rushed to get a ticket and wasn’t at all disappointed (Anni had told me they were great when she saw them in Cardiff back in 2007, I think). It turns out that Jaret and Erik do an acoustic show, and this is what I went to see this week at the Liquid Rooms in Edinburgh.

I wasn’t 100% sure what to expect, but it turned out to be excellent. Certainly a departure from what I’m used to, but one of the best gigs I’ve been to in some time precisely because of it.

Jaret and Ryan Hamilton (from Smile Smile) kicked things off as a duo called “People on Vacation”. They did a handful of nice songs then tootled off to be replaced by “Linus of Hollywood” who did a solo set, which was very well received.

With a very short set change, and in between having their photos take at the side of the stage with umpteen fans, half of Bowling For Soup grabbed their guitars and ploughed through a set lasting nigh on two hours. This was partly due to a very accommodating venue. The gig was, apparently, meant to end at 10pm, but they ran on until just after half past. Thanks to Liquid Rooms for that! I guess they were still coining it in over the bar…

I don’t think a hit was left untouched, and the acoustic versions were suitably different in places to warrant a separate album, in my opinion. The crowd were singing along from the start and the banter was as good as you’d expect from BfS. Any shout was responded to in good humour, the between-song dialogue genuinely funny and it was obvious you were watching two long-standing friends doing what they dreamed of doing when they were kids.

They even managed to squeeze in a version of “Dance Song” from the current album (soon to be outdated by a new release in three weeks). So we have an acoustic version of a rock song parodying a dance song. Cool.

The icing on the cake was the two guys in front of me trying to pull the two girls next to them… who ended up getting off with each other.

A great night with a great band in a great venue with a great crowd. Roll on October and the full band coming back for another tour!

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Bowling For Soup (acoustic performance)

Come on in - the water's lovely

I’m not normally one to plug things like this, but this is on behalf of a very good friend of mine who’s doing something utterly cool.

Later this year Sharon is taking part in the Great North Swim, by far the biggest physical challenge she’s ever undertaken. She will be raising money, hopefully a lot of it, for Help For Heroes – a UK charity which helps the members of the armed forces and their families who are killed or injured in the line of duty… and then not taken care of properly by the government which sent them wherever they were when it happened.

It is a fantastic cause and the swimming will be done by a fantastic woman.

Please, if you have a spare few bob, head over to Sharon’s JustGiving page and make a donation.

Thanks, folks. Normal service will be resumed once I think of something disgusting or ranty to write about.

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Help a friend

Image created with the Mini-mizer.

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Public health warning

But over the years it gradually takes shape. Little bits come from the family. Some info here, some info there.

And every time I have more respect for him and for the people he served with. I learn that bit more. In my lifetime he’s gone from “being in the army” to “being in the Commandos” to “being on the beaches at Normandy”.

Today I found out he was in the military wing that created the first branch, wing or group – whatever – of what was to become the SAS. As I type this I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. My grandfather helped form what is one of the best-known and best-respected subsection of any armed force worldwide.

The SAS has a reputation second to none. I’m not being big-headed, but you ask anyone. From the US Marines to the Taliban – the SAS is the ultimate fighting regiment. Anywhere. Any country. They are, simply, the best.

And my grandfather was one of the originals. The men who formed it. The first to join it. And – at the time – for the best reasons.

All these years later, he would never talk about what he did in the war. Now, whether that’s because of orders or because he realised it wasn’t for the eyes and ears of people who weren’t there I don’t know… I don’t know.

I think it was more for the latter. War’s bad. Spilling blood it bad. Killing men who are fighting for their own cause is bad.

But to hold all that in, and remember it and not show off about it… that is good. Very good.

And here I am celebrating Christmas. With some wonderful people. Which I may not have been able to do without the efforts of people such as my grandad.

And I have just got to say:

Thank you

To all of you.

To my grandad, and to everyone who served with him, alongside him. To the British and Americans, the French, the Russians (eventually), the Spanish, the Canadians, the Aussies, the Kiwis, the Belgians… everyone. And I include the Germans in this. We all know how the war went – I personally don’t blame the German people for anything that happened.

From myself and everyone downstairs from me enjoying a great Christmas party. We couldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for you.

Words fail me to explain and thank you for what you did for me and for everyone I know.

To all of you. Every one of you.

To their relatives.

To their descendents.

To their wives, husbands, children, partners.

Thank you.

Grandad – I love you.

Thank you.

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May I just say…

The book will be called And Another Thing and will be published on 12 October 2009 – 30 years after the publication of the original HHGTTG novel.

OK, this isn’t really “news” having been announced three months or so ago. The reason for the post is that ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha, the official Douglas Adams fan club, kindly sent me two Eoin Colfer books to read to see what they were like. In exchange for which I review them for the society magazine. Fair swaps.

The first one I read was The Legend of Spud Murphy (US readers, check this link). This one’s definitely for younger readers and has the large text and pictures to prove it. However, I like the quote from C.S.Lewis (even if he was a God-botherer) that if a book can only be enjoyed by children then it’s not a good book. Legend… was enjoyed by this big kid.

I could imagine sitting and reading this in front of a class of schoolchildren. In fact, Leah is pinching it off me to do just that for the new school term. It’s a simple, well-written little tale about two brothers who are forced by their parents to visit a local library three days a week over the holidays as punishment for misbehaviour.

The librarian is the villain of the piece. A scary, witch-like old Irish lady (well, she would be – Colfer’s Irish and his books are all set there) who rules her bookish domain with a road of iron. Actually, not so much a rod as a gas-powered spud gun that fires whole spuds. At least, that’s according to local legend.

Colfer’s written the book from the point of view of one of the boys, and everything reads as you’d expect it to from the viewpoint of a 10 year-old. Adults are scary. Rules are there to be broken. Punishment is unfair.

Yet everything, without spoiling it, comes good for our hero at the end. What I absolutely love about this book is the message. It might as well have tinsel and a brass band and a firework display at the end declaring “READING IS GOOD”. It’s a book that, if children enjoy it, should encourage them to use libraries and realise they’re not scary, boring places.

From a ZZ9 point of view, not the best one to review to gauge Colfer as a prospective HHG author, though. The age of the potential readership is perhaps a little low and the writing appropriately simplistic.

However, I then moved on to Half Moon Investigations (US readers go to this link), the first in one of Colfer’s two main series (the other is the rather highly-acclaimed Artemis Fowl sequence). This is a larger book and definitely aimed at a slightly older audience. Not that I read a lot of so-called children’s books *cough*, but I’d gear it agewise as equivalent to the first Harry Potter or Alex Rider novels. Both of those series grew in maturity with their audiences, so perhaps this one does as well.

The plot, in brief: Fletcher Moon is a 12 year-old with a detective badge. He passed some exams via the internet (using his father’s ID) and now acts as a private detective in his home town of Lock. Of course, adults aren’t too impressed with this – he’s obviously just playing games to them – so he tries to remain low key.

As must be the case for a novel to take place, strange things start to happen. Something is up in the town of Lock and Moon finds himself dragged right into it. Accused of being part of it. And on the run.

In the great tradition of the likes of the Red Hand Gang, this is a story of children getting out of their depths, but it never really reaches the bounds of being completely unbelievable.

The first thing I noticed is Colfer’s good use of English. Thing is, this is something Douglas was famous for. To the point where he’d spend a week with blood coming out of his forehead and only add an extra three lines to a page. And remove four other ones. Frankly, it’s amazing Adams wrote anything as he seemed to edit more out of his text than he added in.

One of the things that appealed to me about the Hitchhiker’s novels was how simply they were written. Anyone could read them (subject matter and language in later volumes notwithstanding) and it’s now that I look at it from an outside point of view that I realise why – Adams’ writing was childishly simple. Clever, subtle, deep… but simple.

And this is where Colfer’s background as a children’s author could really work in his favour. The level of humour he has running underneath the text constantly bubbles things along. Occasionally some comparison or choice of words will raise a smile. The plot never stopped moving onwards.

Can he make this work using more grown-up environments and having to engage his imagination more? That I can’t answer. As far as I’m aware, all of his books to date are set in the “real” world. No aliens, or monsters or Joo Janta 500 Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses. I can see him handling the now-experienced Arthur Dent (in some ways aloof in a similar way to Moon), but will he be able to offer anything new as far as the environment surrounding the character is concerned?

Having read these two books, I’m more prepared to give him a chance than I was previously. Much more.

Roll on, October.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Hitchhiker’s Guide Book Series To Continue With New Author – Huffington Post
• New Hitchhiker’s book seven years after death of Douglas Adams – Telegraph
• Artemis Fowl scribe to pen sixth Hitchhiker’s novel – The Register

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Eoin Colfer – new HHGTTG author

Fucking hell. It looks like some cunt is using my email address as the “from” address while shipping out spam. In under 5 minutes I’ve just had 102 “spam” messages drop into my Gmail, virtually every single one an “Undeliverable” or “Message blocked by our spam filters”.

So if you do happen to get an email from “me” trying to sell you penis-enhancing drugs or shitty watches, please don’t mail me back and call me an arsehole. It ain’t me.

I wish someone would come up with a method of “signing” emails which everyone could/would use. I suppose I should really pop something on the old “Moshville” web page, but I don’t know if I can be arsed…

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I am not a spammer