Tag Archives: Tesco

Dear sexist Tesco

English: Tesco at Bandar Bukit Tinggi, Klang
This Tesco is blue, so it’s a boy’s Tesco (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There was an article kicking around on facebook a few weeks ago about Tesco’s insistence that chemistry, electronics, physics and other science-y toys were “boys’ toys”. Because, obviously, girls aren’t interested in science and are also rubbish at it.

Well, actually, this is crap.

Younger girls may be put off science by the fact that all the science-based toys are in the boys’ section, so if they were to get one their peers could go down the “Ew, you’re playing with boys’ stuff” route. Peer pressure has a hell of an effect when you’re in primary school or early secondary.

I was a bit annoyed when I read the original story – and still am, in honesty – but put it to the back of my mind. Until today.

We just had our school prize day. Bear in mind I work at a “posh” school where the kids really are pushed, by staff and parents. As such, we’ve got quite the number who are expected to become doctors, vets and the like. In other words, this is a school where the gender thing is thrown out the window in exchange for the “success in whatever field” thing. A level playing-field as far as subject matter goes.

Here are some figures:

  • Number of science prizes up for grabs (Bio, Chem, Phys & Computing): 16
  • Number won by males: 9
  • Number won by females: 7
  • Highest score in the SQA 2012 Higher Physics exam (nationwide): Female
  • Highest score in the SQA 2012 Higher Chemistry exam (nationwide): Male

So, not far off a 50:50 split. In other words, the sciences are as much a female as a male domain. As such, girls should be encouraged as much as boys to pick up a programming manual, packet of litmus paper, scalpel or voltmeter.

And Tesco can shove their sexist categorisations of learning toys up their corporate backside.

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Mmm… fajitas

After dinner last night, I can definitely recommend Tesco‘s own-brand fajita box set. At a pound, it looks too cheap given that the likes of El Paso can be twice that. This just isn’t the case.

However, a couple of changes to the recipe on the back of the box will improve it.

First off, we used nearer 400g of chicken for the two of us rather than the recommended 550g. This means you’ll get the right amount of food for two. It also means that there’s more spice per unit weight of meat so the fajitas are hotter!

Secondly, the instructions state that you just chuck the powder in with the chicken that’s cooking in oil. I’d change this. First of all, you don’t want to be using that much oil. Secondly, the powder would just sit there. Instead, get a small mug and use it to dilute the powder with boiling water. Once the chicken’s started to cook, pour the spice/water over it and leave it to bubble away. This soaks the flavour into the chicken far more effectively.

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Sorry for the delay…

GWAR!
GWAR!

It’s raining blood, hallelujah…

First of all, let me try and knacker Google: GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAR! GWAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR!

Thank you.

I have been splattered by the Scumdogs of the Universe. I got home in the early hours of Wednesday morning, soaked to the skin. My clothes, skin and hair coated in blood, mucus, baby vomit, space alien jizz, hydraulic fluid… And with a big smile on my face. Everyone must know about Alice Cooper‘s legendary live show. And many will be aware of Ozzy’s habit of spraying the crowd with water. OK, now imagine some kind of hybrid.

The songs are instantly forgettable. I won’t be rushing out to buy an album. However, the stage show is amazing. It must cost a fortune to set up, and the tickets were less than a tenner. I’ll need to dig out the old one from the last time they toured (13 years ago!) and see how the prices compare.

In last night’s show, we all got to see:

  • Some nameless guy getting beheaded and covering the audience in blood
  • Arnie having his chest ripped open and covering the audience in blood
  • Saddam Hussain having his chest sliced off with a hige sword and his head ripped off. Squirt, squirt
  • Paris Hilton, nailed to a table, her legs ripped off and being made to go down on herself as the now diembodied crotch was forced into her face. While she sprayed blood over the audience
  • Michael Jackson pleading that he was a nice guy before having his face ripped off. More blood and copious vomit from his baby’s mouth
  • Dubya having his cock ripped off, then his limbs removed, while… you guessed it
  • An insane looking woman apparently with Mad Cow Disease giving birth to a smoking fish (?!) before being ripped apart and etc.
  • Ronnie Reagan, reanimated at the Reaganator. Imaging Transformers’ Optimus Prime with Ronnie’s head. He has both his arms cut off (green hydraulic fluid everywhere) and then killed (blood)
  • A troll, beaten to death and then a huge sword shoved down its throat

Add to this the lead singer’s huge alien penis showering the crowd in alternating blue alien cum and bright red blood, plus a microphone stand with an eyeball squirting blood everywhere and the venue was a little bit of a mess by the end. As was everyone in it.

Anyone who’s seen Peter Jackon‘s original films (Bad Taste, Brain Dead(UK)/Dead Alive(US), Meet The Feebles) would love this. Actually, any sick fuck would love this. I know I did.

More blood and piss than a dead pope’s underwear. And you lot think I’m uncultured. Shame one you.

Tesco lights

Another of those daft stories on the radio. Tesco recently trialled a scheme where they put “traffic lights” on their own-brand food products. The basic idea was that green indicated healthy foods with certain ingredients (fat, salt, sugar and so on) below a certain lever. Red, obviously, was the reverse. After the trial, they’ve decided to abandon it.

The reason cited? Customers were confused as to what amber meant.

Did they test this scheme in darkest Cornwall where the inhabitants all have extra fingers in place of brain cells? Green – one end of scale. Red – other end of scale. Orange… in the middle.

How bloody hard is that?!

Why bother?

I bought some of those new “Nobby’s Crisps” today – grilled steak flavour. They’re quite nice as well. Bizarrely, they have a little story on the back that tells you where the term “hat-trick” comes from. Which is nice. The Nobby’s Nuts I had the other night gave me details of how to plaster a wall.

The nuts are an obscure idea. Taking one of nature’s healthiest foods, then wrapping it in a fatty batter with a load of artificial flavours. Lovely.

One other thing I noticed on the crisp packet, though, was the fact that they’re “suitable” for vegitarians. Hang on – what’s the point? You could make them any old flavour, say they’re “steak” and sell them to veggies – they shouldn’t be able to tell the difference. It’s not like they have the “real thing” to compare against.

While I’m on a roll, if you’re a veggie answer me this – why bother with veggie sausages, bacon and so forth that’s made to look and taste like meat? I mean, you know it’s not meat, it doesn’t taste right so why not just take it for what it is and have it served up as mulch?

Now, I’m not having a go at veggies – people have very good reasons for their dietary choices – but it just seems like they’re trying to fool themselves in to thinking they’re eating meat so that they fit in. Is that a fair thing to say?

Ironically, I remember noticing a couple of years ago that virtually every meat-flavour crisp from a major manufacturer was veggie-friendly, while the pickled onion flavour wasn’t.

Bargain

Here’s a bit of friendly advice. Ten quid on a pair of shoes seems like a bargain for about 6 months until they start to look like the Hulk’s post-metamorphosis.

Plastic shoes may be kinder to cows and stuff, but I’m splashing out on leather next time. And I don’t mean that in a pervy “glad I got the wipe-clean car seats” kind of a way. Unless I have nice company.

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