Bah Humbug

Suppose I should wish you lot a Merry Christmas. Or Yuletide Felicitations. Or something. Mind you, I got what I wanted for Chrimbo. A whole day to myself with no interruptions, annoying phone calls or people insisting I come round for turkey and egg nog.

Miserable? Maybe. But I get so little time to spend with myself that it can be a strain being around people at times. The only annoying thing is that I didn’t get up till midday. Been a few long days recently and, being the kind soul I am, I stayed up till gone 2 this morning to give a friend a lift home from a nightclub.

Taxi fares in Bradford last night were tripled for some reason inexplicable-other-than-by-greed. How many other industries do this for a job that they’d be doing anyway? Has anyone noticed the Esso 24-hour garage on the corner tripling the price of fuel and Mars Bars? What really galls me is that – no racism intended here – virtually every taxi driver round here is Asian and not a Christian anyway, so it’s not like they’re working a religious holiday that infiltrates into their family life or anything.

Mind you, one great point about living in Bradford is it’s probably one of the few places in the UK you can still buy fast food on December 25th. Two years ago, a mate of mine (hi, Hans) was helping me lay a new floor in the kitchen. Yes, on Christmas Day. As a result, the oven was stuck up on the worktop and therefore somewhat unuseable. Come 5:00 and we were both a bit peckish.

So off we go to KFC. Shut. McD’s. Shut. Pizza place up the road. Shut. The two Chinese on the main road. Shut.

On a whim, we headed for Studentville. Anyone who knows Bradford knows that BD7 is about 50% student and 50% Asian. And thanks to the Asian population for not giving a fig about other people’s religious holidays and just opening for business as usual. Take your pick – burgers, pizza, curry… name it. All open!

Oh, and an idea for The Colonel at this time of year – Kentucky Fried Turkey. Come on… it’s got to be a winner!

Happy hols to all you folks out there. I’ve got what I wanted today – I hope you do too.

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