[forgot to post this when I was in Auckland]

Close to Durex, bit not quite. This stuff is actually a close relative of Andrex. That is, you wipe your arse with it rather than trusting it to prevent pregnancy. Mind, I’ve read enough stories of chavs using clingfilm and crisp packets that I wouldn’t be surprised.

But anyway.

In NZ they have Purex loo roll. The two things I noticed about the packet Lou bought today were:

  1. The ugly dog on the front. Andrex has a beautiful golden laborador. Purex has a… erm… thing with a squishy face.
  2. The word “unscented”

“Unscented” scares me, as that implies that they have a scented version. What do you really want your arse smelling off? Freshly peeled lemons? Rose gardens? Spring meadows?

Personally, I’m known for having a taste for fruity flavours. More than once I’ve been caught out by Body Shop’s cranberry flavour body scrub. Mmmm…. smells fruity… tastes of soap. Ick. Now if that was a nasty surprise imagine how I’d feel if I encountered a bumhole wiped with lemon-scented Purex.

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you’d probably slightly less disturbed than if you encountered a bumhole-scented lemon…

that would put you right off your cocktails


Mmm… bumhole. You know, somewhere in the Amazon there’s probably a fruit that smells just like bumholes. I have yet to try that one.


I won’t even ask what you would be doing to get that close to the aforementioned object!


You have led a very sheltered life. Get over to Hanoi now… 😉

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