There are these shoes called Crocs and they’re bloody everywhere in Oz. I was dragged into a shoeshop by Mel (her boyfriend spotted some boots there, and pointed them out to her, the fool) and they had roughly four walls full of the fucking things. Bright colours, stupid holes in them and an insane price tag. They even do little badge things that clip into the holes.
I saw a sign detailing how to care for your Crocs. One of the things it mentioned was keeping them out of direct heat as they special compound from which they are made can denature in extreme temperatures. Or something equally long-winded.
What it needed to say was: These things are plastic. Don’t get them hot, you twat.
Has anyone seen an old LP left in a car on a hot day? Well, these things would probably end up just as melty. And they sell them in one of the warmest countries I’ve visited. Good grief.