Dog poo

Image from WikipediaI responded to a post on Scaryduck’s blog and ranted on a bit. So I pinched my reply to use here:

We’re supposed to be a nation of animal lovers, but frankly we seem to treat dogs like the **** you’re complaining about. It’s not the dog’s fault it needs to done a poo. It’s the owners for not tidying up afterwards.

All dogs should be injected with nano-bots at an early age. Harmless and designed to sit over the arse-opening. On poopage, they’re deposited with the turd and emit a radio signal unique to each pooch. This will allow inspectors with a poop-detector (like a metal detector but smellier) to locate these and identify the guilty party. And pick up the poop for smearage over the relevant front doorhandle.

I’m sequestered in France right now, in a very touristy town. There is a dog **** issue here as well, but not to the scale as back home. Which is strange, as a lot of dogs just run around on their own here. The owners don’t walk them per se – they just let them out to walk by themselves.

Go into a pub and I’ll almost guarantee you’ll see at least one dog sat on the floor, or wandering around enjoying the attention. Dogs in supermarkets, dogs in shops… as long as it doesn’t **** on the floor nobody cares.

Actually, one pup did **** on the floor of the MBC (microbrewery pub) the other week… to a rousing cheer from the locals before the staff cleared it up.