Greedy bastards after more money

What a surprise. Sports agencies and companies that are worth a mint are crying and blowing bubbles into their milk as some people are getting to watch the overpaid sports stars for free, courtesy of Satan’s own child the internet.Boo fucking hoo.Now, I’ve not used the web to watch anything, simply because I’ve never been anywhere with a decent enough connection. If I were at home, I’d go watch a match live or at the pub. I’m currently in Singapore and have spent some time around Oz, NZ and SE Asia. What matches are shown is dependant on the TV stations choosing them. Newcastle are rarely one of those choices now, simply because we’re shit and not entertaining.At home, I’d listen to the game on the radio if it was on. No such luck any more. 5-Live rarely covered our games anyway, and Century choose to cover Boro or play music on the internet when we’re on (you can only get NUFC matches if you’re within broadcast distance of their north transmitter). While I’m abroad, I’m fucked due to the rules governing the UK radio companies and the limitations on their internet transmission of sporting events.If I ever turn to “illegal” broadcasts it’s because I can’t keep up with the games by any other means, purely down to the clampdown by the governing bodies. Look, let’s face it – there’s a gazillion dollars in football these days. There has been for years. It’s not exactly losing money because a few people aren’t going to watch live games. They’re not going to live games for two reasons: a) in our case, we’re shit and b) it’s too fucking expensive. You’re looking at £100 for ticket, transport, lunch and a couple of beers. Ramp that skywards if you’re taking the kids.So stop wasting time and money trying to close down internet sites. They’ll always be one step ahead and at least they’re letting people follow the sports they pump their money and hopes into. Which is better than can be said for the greedy cunts running the sports bodies these days. Sport is for fans, not the money-grabbing crotch-monkeys who’re walking around with my fucking money in their sweat-stained pockets.

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Do-gooders at it again

Simply as they have fuck all better to do with their time, a bunch of bureaucrats have taken it upon themselves to discipline no fewer than 100 members of the police force for forwarding on a humorous series of pictures.The slideshow depicts a man running from police in the US. He jumps off a flyover and is decapitated on some railings. The caption is “Don’t Run From The Police”.Grisly, perhaps. But the reason for the reprimand? The man in question is black so therefore the clip is racist. For fuck’s sake. Are you trying to tell me that it would have been fine and dandy if the man had been white? Apparently the mail is “at best, disrespecful to the black people that live in Hertfordshire”. Bollocks. Complete bollocks.The only people who have drawn attention to the race of the wanker who took it upon himself to run from the police are the beancounters who have to justify their positions within the force.Worst case, I’d say the police should have more to do with their time than forwarding on joke emails. But on the other hand, they’re human and deserve a giggle just like the rest of us. There’s no mention at all in the article of anyone actually making a complaint, or feeling racially harassed. Has anyone bothered to ask any coloured staff if they felt racially humiliated as a result of seeing the pictures?Nah, didn’t think so.Now, does anyone know where I can get a copy of the mail so I can laft at the daft criminal of non-important racial heritage who took it upon himself to jump off a flyover?

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Further proof – bouncers are cunts

I headed to The Vic in Darwin this evening for dinner with four people from my dorm. The youngest of us was 22. The little prick on the door wanted ID from everyone. Including me. I’m fucking 33 next month.

Smug little shit he was, as well. Don’t know why. Fat, ugly, couldn’t string more than three words together and showing off that he was only 18. You know, funnily enough, it showed. Pathetic little wanker. One of our group had to walk all the way back to the hostel for his passport. Fortunately, staying at The Cav, we were only round the corner. I pity anyone who’d walked from Gecko’s – it’s 15 minutes each way.

Evil toaster destroyers

[another one written before I left home in March]

I had someone over recently and, being the polite host, asked if they wanted something to eat. "Cheese on toast" was the cheery reply.

Bastards. You invite someone over, show them common courtesy and they try and pull a practical joke on you. I mean, it’s all well and good asking a new apprentice to go and get some left-handed screws or a tin of tartan paint, but this could have been dangerous and knackered my toaster.

Had I not been as smart as I am, I could easily have been caught out. After all, how many people have sliced some cheese, layed it gently on the bread and then popped it into the toaster to cook? I’m not stupid. The cheese would drop straight off the bread and get all over the toaster elements. Fire could result and I’d certainly have to fork out for a new toaster.

Bloody irresponsible. That’s what I call it. Besides, I’ve already set fire to one toaster.