Month: June 2004

Sadly it seems that this story has been updated since it first went up, so it actually provides some accurate facts. On Tuesday, a big official report came out that says a survey had been done over all of the UK’s 5000+ permanent speed camera and proved that they save 100 lives a year and aren’t just chugging in revenue.

This story made the headlines on most television news programs. Great, says I. Lives saved is good… if they’re in the right place and so forth. But…

Arse, frankly.

A much smaller clarification (or should that be “correction”) was printed in many newspapers the following day but didn’t, for some reason, make it into the main news programs. Funny, that.

Buried in the small notices of one paper, I read that the survey wasn’t across every speed camera in the country. It was, in fact just over “3,376 camera sites in partnership areas”. These partnership areas are the ones where they’ve made a move to shift camera into genuinely dangerous areas where fatalities and serious injuries have occured. Areas where there are a large proportion of correctly-places cameras.

You may recall my problems with the Welsh police (here, here, here, here, and here). Well, Gwent isn’t on of the police forces involved in the sensible rules group. They just shove cameras where and when they want and accuse you of crimes of which you’re not guilty. A picture of an easily-faked piece of plastic with some letters on is categorical proof of guilt unless you can prove otherwise, to them.

So, basically, speed cameras save lives if they’re put in sensible places. And you’re telling me they needed a bloody big survey to figure that out?

Now, why not put some along the “red routes” running through Lincolnshire? Even I will admit to bricking it when I’ve gone round some surprising corners too quickly. A speed camera before such locations would make me drive more safely and that has to be a good thing.

Oh, and one more story for a giggle. I appreciate the poor sod’s vehemence, but he did take both hands off the wheel.

Those of you who know me know that most of my joints make many a wonderful popping noise. You’ll also know that I enjoy saunas. The two combined is a joy. Getting all hot, letting the muscles relax then twisting in front of members of the public while my spine makes a noise like a box of firecrackers going off.

Well, one kine person has recently informed me that saunas can render a gentleman infertile, if only temporarily. Basically, sperm develop at a temperature slightly below that of body temperature – hence the location of the little soldier factories and the fact that is moves away from / in towards the body depending on temperature.

So along with excessive cycling, long periods of time behind the wheel of a car and bashing your balls together with bricks, you can add taking a relaxing sauna to the list of things that you can’t enjoy without fearing your little soldiers are keeling over and dying.

In this instance, so eloquently put as “boil in the bag tadpoles”.

I presume a fair few of you have a mate who’s “in a band”. And a ton of them will have produced a demo that you’ve convinced yourself (or at least convinced them) is pretty good before consigning it to some random drawer in the house somewhere.

Well, I’ve just been pleasantly surprised. I popped over to see Ian and Sam (and their teeny little new addition to the family) and he gave me a copy of Bloodstream‘s album Black Storm Harvest.

I’ve known Ian and some of the other band members for years, but in all honesty have heard very little by them. You know what… after this I’d like to hear more. I appreciate the band are changing members at the moment, the singer’s different and one of the other chaps is handing duties over to someone else. I can only hope they’re as tight as the lot who recorded this.

I don’t do the old Music Page any more, but if I did this would be a featured album. I had it on in the car for a bit and it’ll definitely be making another appearance some time soon. The whoele thing’s a hybrid of classic thrash with some death metal-style vocals let down only by the fact that you can make them out. Though you could take this is a good thing – I did.

Anyway, check out their web site if you reckon you could be interested. Good luck to them.

I got a spam from Barclaycard about a week or so ago. I don’t know why, though I do have a Barclaycard. It’s completely interest free for purchasing Premiership season tickets – the only reason I got one. I’m always careful to tick the “no I don’t not want a lack of no junk mail not sent to my house or email account” box on the forms.

Anyway, spam arrives. It has a little bit at the bottom to “click here if you don’t want any more of this ****”. So I duly clicked. A web page appears with my email address next to a button telling me to “click here to confirm”. I click.

“There has been an error. Please contact our customer support…” and so forth. OK, I’m tenacious. So I emailed them. Nice and politely to be taken off the list, thank you very much.

An automated reply followed. Then three days later another response from a human being asking for my full name and address so they could action my issue. Obviously, I queried this. After all, why would they need my home address to delete an email address they already have from the system? I told them so and refused to give them my details.

Another day goes by, another reply (from the same person) again requesting my details. There’s no answer to my question as to why they need to know where I live. So I reply again, this time mentioning the fact that they’re legally obliged to remove me from any and all junk mail and spamming lists should I so request. Also, again asking why on earth they needed my address anyway.

Two days later and another reply. This time, thankfully, I’ll be removed from the mailing list. There are some catches though…

“Your email has been forwarded on to the relevant department who should be arranging for no future mailings to be sent to you.

However, please note that as our marketing campaigns are usually prepared up to three months in advance, it is possible that you may still receive some e-mails from us during the next weeks.

We apologise for any inconvenience caused and kindly ask you to allow 60 Days for your details to be completely removed from all of our marketing lists.”

Sixty days. To be removed from an email spam list. If it takes them that long to do a simple search / delete from a computer database, no wonder I don’t bank with them.

And still no explanation as to why it took three emails, a broken web page and two inane requests for my name and address before they got off their lazy arses and did something about it.

From Earache.com:

“Deicide have abruptly ended their ‘Scars Of The Crucifix’ European tour before even playing one date.

After a performance at the Dynamo festival on June 5, the band entered the UK but declined to play the London show on Jun 8th- opting instead to fly home to Florida, citing their anger and frustration at the transportation and financial arrangements provided by the tour agent. It does not affect any other shows Deicide have booked in the USA.”

I only just found out now when I got an email through from the people I bought my tickets from. So I lose out on the extortinate postage charges and the booking fee, as well as a night out I was really looking forward to.

Well, they can get bent if they think I’m buying the two albums I don’t have by them now. Lazy feckers. What was the matter? Not enough ten pound notes stuffed in the tour bus mattress?