Month: June 2004

Just a quickie, courtesy of a link from Scaryduck‘s blog. It’s a thread from a bulletin board all about being caught *******. And it’s abso-*******-lutely hilarious.

Anyway, the discussion thread is closed but I have a doozy they could have added to it.

A friend of mine was in hospital around the end of last year with heart problems. He was in the coronary ward at Leeds GI, separated from home and girlfriend for about a week by this stage.

Late one night, he wakes up, cock like a bike stand stopping him from rolling over. Well, it’s late and there are no lights on. Grabs some tissues and proceeds to polish his Herman Gelmet.

Thing is, he’s on a heart monitor and the watch nurse saw his pulse begin to get fairly eratic and came bounding in at *just* the wrong moment (as if there was a right one).

Very much a (white of) egg on face incident. The best bit was, it’s his girlfriend who told me about this. She also told her mum, his mum and everyone we hang around with.

He’s a Bradford City fan, so I bought him a cuddly bantam as a get-well present – so he could choke that chicken instead.

One of the guys from work is going to an Eighties Night do this weekend and they’ve requested fancy dress. He was pondering over how to get his short hair to mimic a Flock of Seagulls cut and where to get a frilly shirt when I suggested another possibility.

“How about a leather jacket with studs in the shoulders? Or a denim jacket with patches on? And ripped jeans? And an old Iron Maiden t-shirt? Get a long wig, some chains… sorted.”

Ray thought that was a decent idea, and cheaper than going to the fancy dress shop. Nice of me, eh?

The sad part is the stuff I loaned him for the weekend is pretty much what I still wear when I go out. I wear t-shirts I’ve had since I was 16. And they’re in better condition than I am.

I went to the Bradford City Pro-Celeb fundraising match on Sunday, and took a fair few pics. They’re all up at Fotopic for your perusal.

Apologies as I don’t know the names of most of the people playing, although they included Chris Waddle, Stuart McCall, someone from Smokie, the taxi driver from Corrie and some guy who plays for Bradford Bulls.

At the end of the day, it was a fun few hours and the mascots and fit dancing girls really made it for me. The guy from Sheffield United definitely had the best costume! There’ll be a panorama view around the ground posted once Adam’s finished working his digital wizardry on the separate images.