Category: Uncategorised

I wrote to you a few weeks ago to address some concerns regarding delivery times, scheduling, returned items, convenience and sorting office opening times. Thank you for your stock reply which manages to address approximately one third of my concerns, skirt one or two and blithely ignore the rest.

Please note in particular that my issues concern the time of day my post is now arriving, the inconvenient times that my nominated Delivery Office is open and the very inconvenient place in which it is located compared to another which is less than five minutes walk from my front door.

As such, please find enclosed a copy of your reply and another copy of my original. This time I’ve highlighted the important bits to make it a little easier for you to spot them.

Many thanks again for your time.

Just a quickie. If the little ****** next to me farts one more time, I’m going to puke on his head. I swear he’s **** himself.

If you’re not a Spanish speaker, please refer to Google’s language tools to translate.

Mis apologías por el español pobre. He utilizado Google para traducir. Pero apenas tuve que decir, a todos los fanáticos del fútbol españoles – usted es un manojo de racistas pathetic. Inglaterra se supone tener una mala reputación, con todo nos parecemos haber realizado qué siglo es. Coja amablemente apagado de nuevo a sus hogares españoles grotty y deje el balompié solo. Espuma.

Well, aside from being about a stone lighter and barely up to arm-wrestling a grasshopper, I don’t feel too bad. One question, though – why do “rehydration” drinks taste so bloody awful? I’m assuming that it was something I ate rather than a virus, as after I’d hoyed up 2 days’ food I could still see bits of Monday night’s dinner in there. Also, pretty soon after performing the technicolour yawn, I started to feel much better.

Far too much sleep (with a cat stretched out next to me on the bed, bless her) and a nice hot shower later and I actually made it into work. Of course, nobody told me that we were shifting offices (again), so I went and hid while somebody else moved the desks.

Nice to know I was missed by at least one person (thanks, Anni!) and I’ve done the usual lazy “recovering from illness *cough* *cough*” thing and rehashed two old posts (below).

A handy hint for those with a cat, too. If they start to dig into their litterbox and get litter on the floor, don’t expect them not to get confused and **** on that instead of what’s left in the tray. What a thing to wake up to when you’ve spent the previous evening with an upset stomach…

Thoughts out to Sharon, please. She’s put her back out at work again and has had to be taken home. Hugs are allowed, but only at shoulder-height for obvious spinal reasons.

Your author has been rather ill today, and will catch up on posts and comments tomorrow. Apologies for the gap in service, but normal abuse and stories about kittens will return once his stomach and rectum agree on how they should be working again. We thank you for your patience.