OK, to the point – I was carjacked on New Year’s Day. In broad daylight (about 2:30 pm). On a busy road, at some traffic lights. By the biggest clown-show bunch of amateurs you ever saw. Mind, amateurs or not, I’m not taking on 4 people over a car I don’t own anyway so I let them drive off.
Basically, the usual trick. Sat in traffic, bump on the rear end, get out to look at the damage and they force their way into your car. Only they didn’t so much “force” and “bungle”. The whole idea of carjacking (and bank robbery, I suppose) is speed and shock. While the victim’s still off-balance, do everything quick and shoot off before they start thinking.
I could have sold popcorn for this performance. And perhaps soft drinks.
First off, one of the muppets opened both passenger-side doors, despite only one of them actually getting in on that side. I think the other guy bottled it. That delayed their driving away. The driver of the car that hit me looked like he was about to crap his pants. If I’d have gone “boo”, I fear he may have.
The two who eventually sat in the car didn’t put their seat belts on. This would have made it ridiculously easy for me to pull them out. After a brief bit of holding back by the somewhat underweight driver, nobody stopped me approaching the car, nor did they close the doors. I mean, come on. Elementary, people.
I got the car back – the police and several people who stopped afterwards were very helpful – and it’s pretty much undamaged. OK, they’ve tried to rip out the crappy hands-free kit that work gave us and instead only succeeded in pulling out the air blower it was attached to. Only thing is, it’s taking Scene Of Crime officers a while to look at it (due to backlog – too many robbing scum out there) and it’ll be Monday before I can touch it.
So – 4 days without a car when I’ve been supposed to be visiting people. Great. It’s the inconvenience that’s the worst thing. And the feeling that “If only I had….”. That thought goes round in my head a lot.
If only I had spat at the driver and pushed him in front of moving traffic.
If only I had dragged the other guy out of my car and stood on his face.
If only I had taken the keys out of the ignition and locked the doors.
But the best riposte to any of these is… “But what if one of them had a knife?”
I did the right thing. Bumbling, stupid and pathetic as they were, I did the right thing. And I’d urge anyone reading this who ends up in the same situation to bear that in mind. It’s only a car. In this case, not even mine (it’s a company vehicle).
The one thing I do await, though, is news that these same four simpletons try it again. On someone who turns out to be ex-army, or a bouncer. He’ll rip the bastards apart.