Druggies

Here’s interesting. The head police office in North Wales (who’s a complete cock) wants to legalise all drugs. He says this will cause a huge cut in the number of drugs-related offenses. Of course it will. Because they won’t be illegal any more.

Let’s just legalise speeding so the silly cunt can take down all the fucking speed cameras he’s put up in Wales. After all, if you legalise it then the number of speed-related offenses will drop.

On the subject of drugs, when I was in Amsterdam I noticed that a lot of the “coffee” houses now offer internet as well as mushrooms and dope. Can you imagine getting an MSN off someone from one of these places?

“Sorry to take so long getting online, but I had to wait for the elephant to finish. And excuse my typing. The keyboard is just too floaty…”

I was talking to a couple of friends and they were interested in trying some drugs, just out of curiosity. Well, you know my feelings on drugs (I ain’t going there – ever), but each to their own. One wanted to try ecstasy, but not while at a rave as the music’s shit. So he wants to try it before playing an RPG or something.

I can see that D&D session going well:

DM: The skeleton attacks you.
PC: That’s cool. Just let it chill out. Maybe we can have a beer.

Mind, it could be more fun on PCP:

DM: The skeleton attacks you.
PC: Fuck it! Fuck it up! Bad! REAL Bad!
DM: OK, it’s dead.
PC: Hit it more! Stab it. Killkillkill…

The player would of course get a +15 bonus to Strength. And a -15 penalty to intelligence.

In another conversation (it’s been a weird week), we wondered that if God invented cannabis on the third day, what did he come up with on the fourth? Simple – snack foods. The universe’s biggest ever case of the munchies.

I reckon He/She/It discovered LSD before supplying Adam with Eve. Only a mind-bending drug could explain the workings of the female mind.

Hey, and who reckons they’d been at the weed when they got hammered for nicking that apple? I mean, come on. It all makes sense. Seeing a talking snake and then getting a real bad case of the munchies that you have to go scrumping to satisfy it? In fairness, I don’t think 7-Eleven was created until well after the closing verses of Genesis.

2 thoughts on “Druggies”

  1. I’ve never played D&D under the influence of drugs, but I have played it drunk and that’s just amusing. You really do get stupidly brave and end up killing yourself on pit traps. Or just walking into a roomful of Drow and going ‘Alright?!”

    Fun times…

  2. So pretty much like that scary advert on TV at the moment where the guy’s so pissed he thinks he’s a superhero and falls off some scaffolding?

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