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People having sex in private? It shouldn’t be allowed!

CornwallImage via WikipediaThe great British public are at it again, making a meal of precisely fuck all that’s any of their business. A farmer in Cornwall is trying to make some cash by opening a barn as a swinger’s club. Whoop-de-do. Frankly, good for him. And for the local council who say “it’s legal, so we don’t care and good luck to him in his enterprise”.

On the other hand, a large “fuck off” to the idiots nearby who are complaining that it’s “disgusting”, “sleazy” or “wrong for the area”. Five out of ten to the guy who said “I’m not a prude, but if this affects the way I live, then I will be doing something about it.”. Can he explain how it possibly could affect the way he lived? Unless he actually went, or found out that his wife was nipping up their for some anal play instead of going to the bingo?

It’s on a farm. It’s miles from anywhere. People will not be running naked through the village streets. Mrs Miggins will not have to clean cum off her rosebushes in the morning. There will be no watersports performed outside the Dog & Duck. Double penetration and bukkake will not be happened across accidentally should one wander into the corner shop for a packet of Hobnobs.

We have one farmer making the most out of the decline in the industry he began his working life in. Everyone else making a fuss can just fuck off. They’ll be demanding that the local B&B is closed down next. After all, I bet someone has had sex in each of the rooms at some point since it opened.

I actually used to know a couple who opened such a place in the North East some years ago. The purchased what used to be a damn rough biker’s bar. One where people left via the windows as often as via the door. Bikes going up and down the main road at all hours. Music blaring. Great fun for those that attended, not so for the locals.

Then along come this couple with a lump of cash and great plans. Redecorate all the rooms, theme it, use a “bring your own” policy to reduce alcohol-related problems. The clientèle, by their very nature, would be quiet and discrete. Surely a huge boost for the area, and much more pleasant all round?

Nope. The locals got a petition up and the local council forbid them permission to open as a swinger’s club. Instead, they opened as a bed and breakfast. And had a private party every few weeks. The property was their own to do with as they pleased. A friend of theirs “booked it” and took some cash per head to pay for the booking so it was all above board. They rented the rooms out as usual for anyone staying overnight.

Never a problem. No more smashed windows. The local shops started doing a boost in trade (off-license, convenience stores, cafés) to boot. Never a complaint, because the idiot locals didn’t know what was going on. Which is as it would have been in the first place, only they were too narrow-minded to see this.

[UPDATE: found the story about it on the BBC]

When will we, as a nation, stop giving a fuck about people’s private lives? Celebrities… even then I think they deserve their privacy but let the shitty glossy magazines have their fun. But the folk next door… leave them alone. If nobody’s getting hurt (without consent, anyway), where’s the fucking problem?

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