OK, so I’m stuck in the office all day again. Well, until 2:00 when I have to shoot off for an optician’s appointment. How convenient. Once more I’m left with not a lot to do and need to fill the hours. So on to today’s Way To Waste Office Time:
Signs that show me I’m getting old. The scary thing is there are a lot of them, and they’re not all good.
1) Listening to Radio 2
2) Telling people the same thing over and over again because my memory is going
3) I get wound up at people talking in the cinema
4) Worrying about my mortgage and bills
5) Looking at really fit women and going “Nah – too young”
6) Telling people the same thing over and over again because my memory is going
7) Deciding which car to get based on fuel consumption, safety, upkeep costs and not just how fast it can go
8) Realistically working out finances required to buy a DB9 rather than settling for a poster on my wall. I reckon if I can get onto £40k, I can just about afford to finance one. Of course, I’ll have to live in it and forgoe luxuries such as food.
9) Getting knackered running up a single flight of stairs
10) I watch my alcohol consumption
11) I purchase far too many “humorous” t-shirts
12) Telling people the same thing over and over again because my memory is going
13) I shave my head so people don’t notice how bald I’m getting
14) Grocery shopping is based on what’s cheap and healthy
Although to counteract:
1) I still find farting and belching funny, and reckon Dirty Sanchez is the pinnacle of televisual entertainment
2) This year I *will* learn to skateboard. Or at least how to fall without breaking myself
3) I think snowboarding is way better than skiing
4) Wile E. Coyote has never been funnier
5) The only argument I have with kids is that I want to play with their toys first
6) I can live on beans on toast, ice lollies and sweets
7) My mum still insists on buying clothes for me
