Hell’s bollocks, I’m bored. Once again sat in an office with nothing to do except coursework… which I can’t do because I’m sat in the office. I have today discovered that we’re now going cheap on toilet paper. Gone is the comfy Charmin Ultra. In its place is some evil stuff with a pattern on it similar to a nailfile and which has much the same effect when used to clean your arse.
We have been having fun with Gosia, however. She’s one of the Polish programmers who is leaving at the end of the week. Over the last couple of weeks we’ve taught her to appreciate the good, old-fashioned English double-entendre. Purely for educational purposes, of course. She actually got the joke when I held out some peanuts and asked if she’d like to nibble on something salty. She cupped her hand and allowed me to gently place my nuts in her palm.
I noticed on the packet that “small children can choke on nuts”. I find this hard to believe. I’d have expected them to start gagging on the end of my cock before my nuts were even in their mouth.
I fully expect hate-mail for that one.
Today I wrote a fairly lengthy letter to Middlesbrough football club asking about their decision to reduce our ticket allocation. If I get a response, I’ll post it up here for all to see. Office hours well spent, as you can tell.
Horoscope for the day – Aries. You will wake up, do something and go back to bed. During your waking hours, you may or may not communicate with another person. Beware sharp implements and vehicles travelling at speed along pavements. Your lucky underwear fetish is “used schoolgirl’s panties” and your unlucky adjective is “docile”.
“small children can choke on nuts”…………
mmmphh!
I’ll go clean my keyboard and desk now.
It was a decent letter, and I’ll be disappointed with my club if they don’t reply… and very interested in the answer if they do!