Back from Leeds and stuff

First off, toerag from the other night isn’t parked in the driveway. Her “ex” was and has moved to the street. And there are two other wide-boy, body-kitted, clapped-out pieces of **** there now. Tempted to mention that I’d told the guy she was shagging the other night not to park there and I kind of didn’t expect her other **** toys to make the same mistake.

Might go down well in front of the knuckle-dragger seeing as he – as far as I can tell – still hasn’t sussed that she’s shagging around behind his back. Could be good for a laugh.

Anyway, Leeds Fest and first of all a public apology. Prior to The Darkness I was stuck near the front and surrounded by many nice people. It was me who farted. Several times. I’m sorry.

My injury tally includes: a nice graze on my left forearm (which was really swollen on Saturday morning) and one on my right knee; two cuts on my left arm; entire upper chest bruised; abdomen sore to the touch but nothing visible yet; both elbows bruised; shoulders aching from carrying two rucksacks; a massive red welt on my right wrist of which I’m particularly proud.

Thanks to everyone in the pits for Green Day, Offspring and lostprophets. The Wildhearts and Ash also rocked, as did several other bands who I just kept an eye out for. Whoever put 50 Cent on Friday with all the other decent bands should be sacked. Get the over-ego’d ****** on the Sunday bill with all the other miscellaneous *****. And he can take The Streets with him.

I now have a few nights’ video to catch up on, some cheap food to eat (which for once I can claim is healthy in comparison to the **** I’ve been chowing on since Thursday) and an Amy to collect at 23:00 as she decided to stay to see Sick Of It All.