Letter writing campaign

OK, folks. I called KFC’s head office today and got their address. It’s bizarre. You ring them and a nice receptionist puts you through to their “address line” which is basically a recorded message. Why they don’t just put the thing on their web page, I don’t know.
Anyway, please – if you hate that ******* advert – drop them a line and tell them. The address is:
Yum Restaurants International
32 Goldsworth Road
Woking
Surrey
GU21 6JT
I suppose you want to see what I wrote. *sigh* OK then…

Dear Sir/Madam,

Let me first say that I am a great fan of KFC and have been known in recent history to quite literally “live off” the stuff for stupidly long periods of time. Recently, however, I have been forced to make the harsh decision to boycott the restaurants. I have even gone as far as to blog my decision, much to the disbelief of most of my friends who know that I’ll likely starve as a result.

I am one to stick to my principles, and I am also not one normally swayed by advertising. However, the recent “operatic” campaign is just so painfully awful that I have chosen never to set foot in a KFC again until they are removed from the television. The whale-mouthed screacher who takes a full 30 seconds of “woooaooaooaoohhh” to tell her colleague that he can’t have her mini-fillet burger is a bigger deterrant for KFC than Supersize Me was for McDonald’s.

Perhaps it seems a little backwards but I very rarely jump at a new product (or decide to revisit a store I normally frequent anyway) on the basis of advertising. However, if something annoys me enough then I will find it quite easy to refuse to pass my money to that company again on the basis that they’ve wasted my hard-earned cash by paying some advertising executive who needs a kick up the back end rather than a bonus. I won’t touch Sainsbury’s because I hate Jamie Oliver, for instance. Mind, that big-gobbed woman really gives him a run for his money in the hate stakes.

I would, as such, be very grateful if you could give me a ballpark idea of when this intensely annoying campaign is due to finish its run. While my arteries are breathing a sigh of relief and the local sandwich shop is doing cartwheels at the added income, I do miss my Tower burgers.

Incidentally, I also think that another of the ads was rather ill-advised. Who on earth thought that having a bunch of “African Americans” singing about fried chicken was going to help shift burgers? What next? Watermelon desserts and a kids meal with a toy butler that says “Yus, Massah?”.

Good grief.

Yours faithfully (and with a rumbling stomach and rapidly unclogging arteries),

etc.

P.S. In readiness for this assault on the senses being binned, is there any chance you could restore the “restaurant finder” that used to be on the web page?

I **** you not. The letter is printed and will be in the post tomorrow morning.

11 thoughts on “Letter writing campaign”

  1. I love that advert! It’s so pathetic that I find it really funny, ugly people arguing over fast food and singing about it. It’s like Wagner for the working man.

  2. One point to make – it’s *very* unlikely that KFC management will know what a blog is.

    Now, if we had countless pics of you having visited KFCs in the past, we could knock up a huge website about it. Maybe turn you into a minor web celebrity.

  3. Go Moshy, Go Moshy.. in a very strange American chat show way!!

    Very good rant, you’ll have to let us know if they actually respond!!!

    Sister flo.. Chickens really are inquisitive creatures… but I think Mosh’s rant was more to do with the whale in the advert lol

  4. Flo – I’m not going to argue about animal rights. I love them, some between bits of bread and other curled in my lap. But for the same reason I won’t get into an argument on fox hunting on someone else’s site, I won’t get involved in refusing to eat something because of animal suffering.

    Essentially, unless I became a vegetarian / vegam I would feel like an utter hypocite. I suppose I’m just a caveman barbarian, but my views are simple. If an animal’s being raised to be culled for food then it’s going to die anyway. I can’t afford to get emotionally involved. If an animal is otherwise wild or a pet and is mistreated then I’ll beat the crap out of anyone I catch doing it.

    See? Hypocrite. And I admit it. How can I differentiate? Answer – I can’t. So I take the coward’s way out and turn a blind eye.

  5. I just eat every damn thing that moves. If I’m feeling hungry and I walk past a field full of cows, I might pop in to bite a chunk or two out of one of ’em, just to fill the gap.

    But I don’t see what you’re wringing your hands about KFC for, though. Everyone knows their ‘chicken’ is made out of broken promises and unicorn snot.

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