Be careful
I cannot emphasise this enough. Always, always check which window you’re typing in when using MSN. This especially important when the conversation is somewhat risqué. Even your best friend may find it a bit hard to take if you type “I need more naked pics of you. Great **** material” and send it to them by mistake.
******* OOPS.
Sorry, Mike. I hope I’ve not scarred you for life.
Ringtones
I’d like to rename these "wringtones" because I want to wring the neck of most people with a "humorous" ringtone. Especially with the newer phones where you can pretty much have anything.
One person in the office has someone whistling as their ringtone. It drives me up the wall. It’s almost as annoying a sound as someone sitting in the passenger seat of your car, popping chewing gum every 17.6 seconds (not that I’m getting at anyone in particular with that comparison).
A mate of mine has (or had – threats may have changed this) a recording of his voice saying "text message" when an SMS came through. This freaked the living hell out of his wife when he left his phone on the armchair and went upstairs.
There are many ringtone experiments that I could perform. They include the following:
How small does a mobile have to be before I can shove it up the owner’s arse without any lubricating jelly?
Does the temperature of the fluid I drop it in affect how quickly it dies? Do I have to use a nice hot cup of tea, or can I just piss on it until it stops ringing?
If the phone is "recharged" using a mains socket and two bare wires, how loud will it ring afterwards?
If the owner is "recharged" using a mains socket and two bare wires, will they care if I smash their ******* phone into a million pieces?
Once again I feel the need to approach an educational facility or government agency to see if I can get a grant for my work. Though sadly I fully expect to get knocked back again. How is genius supposed to work without funding? No wonder Doc Oc had to rob a bank. I can fully sympathise, poor chap.
Confession
I’ve had a Double Decker in my desk drawer at work for three days now and I’ve not eaten it. I am aware that some women would regard this as a hanging offense and I’d just like to get my apologies in now before the trial.
double decker ?
Mosh,
I think that repeated beatings of the owner of a phone that had a wring tone on it would work
Very satisfying.
The amount of risque conversations I’ve had on MSN recently has nose-dived tremendously. Where are you getting them all from?
so who SHOULD the message have gone to then – or can we guess….
no worries on the Double Decker (it’s a chocolate bar Echo, he doesn’t have a london bus in there – probably) – you’re obviously just a pleasure deferrer rather than going in for instant gratification – which, believe me, makes you more, not less, popular with the ladies…!
oh yes
With regard to Ringtones, see http://www.bleepblog.com/archives/2005/04/to_save_our_mob.html this article on bleepblog about that bloody little yellow chick – and a campaign to stop it (turn it into KFC, possibly).
I was sat in the Staffroom of a very exclusive Public school this morning, chatting away to a lovely student teacher and all of a sudden the calmness of the room was obliterated by a baby wailing… yes, some muppet of a parent has recorded their wailing child for their ringtone! Least in this instance you can shut them up with the touch of a button.
Mate of mine was on a train a few years ago, *just* around the time when mobiles were really starting to become commonplace. First class carriage, all rich businessmen.
One of the was a definite yuppie, blathering on and on about how great this was, how they should SELL SELL SELL the other and so on. This **** went on for about 10 minutes at which point, some old geezer got up, stalked over, yanked the phone from his hand, dropped it on the ground and crushed it.
Then he reached in his pocket and wrote out a cheque, handed it to the guy and sat down without a word.
I *wish* I had that amount of money.
I don’t know what a double decker is, but it sounds like it needs refrigeration to me. 😉
And ringtones…
they suck!! I like that everyone’s phone doesn’t sound the same since it makes it easier to figure out whose phone is ringing, but COME ON!! Why do they have to be SO ANNOYING!!!!???
OHHHHHH, it’s a chocolate bar.
Got it.
For those who don’t know what a Double Decker is…
So, you’re saying your friend Mike isn’t **** material?
*shush* Don’t tell him. He might take offense at that.