No more COOOKIES!!!
Cookie Monster has been silenced, or at least made to tell kids that cookies are only a “sometimes food”. I love that. How ******* American is that phrase?
It’s hardly the same, is it? “SOMETIMES FOOODDDD! SOMETIMES FOOOODDD!”
It is a dark day for us all. If they want to “get with the kids”, The Count should turn to rap:
“One! One bullet in the shitty rap star!
Two! Two bullets in his bling-addled chest!
Three! Three caps in his mother-fuckin’ ass!
Four! Four bits of hot lead to shut his bitch-ass mouth!
Five! Five cop-killers in his fuckin’ head!
Six! Six rounds to show him who’s his daddy!
Seven! Seven shots in his dirty fuckin’ face!
Eight! Eight 9mm’s in a dotted line across his front!
Nine! Nine shiny death-dealers smashing out his teeth!
Ten! Ah, ****. Run out, and the tosser’s still breathing”
And Kermit should be a flasher with that dirty mac he wears. And Big Bird should sell crack to Mr Snofalopolous. He’d need shitloads with that big ******* nose of his.
Phones and drinkies
OK, so I was bored, but has anyone else noticed the main UK mobile phone networks all seem to be drink-related?
There’s Orange (juice), Virgin (Cola), O2 (water, if you muck around with some hydrogen), and Vod(k)afone. “3” could mean a treble, but I’m a bit stuck on T-mobile.
Always one exception to a rule.
I read that too here, in an effort to tackle the growing obesity in North American kids Cookie Monster wil be saying something like “Cookies are good sometimes.” When I was a kid I climbed trees, rode my bike, and ran around outside. I had a Colecovision. Colecovision rocks but I digress…no mobile phones no internet and no junk food for me. Of course with the amount of baking that I’ve been doing not having a job and all maybe I should be saying cookies are good sometimes…who am I kidding, cookies are good all the time? Besides, if he doesn’t sing “C is for Cookie” I can’t really describe death metal as downtuned guitars with Cookie Monster on vox…
Er…Tea-mobile?
So what’s next? Oscar the Grouch warning about the MRSA risks of playing in dustbins? Elmo pointing out that you should only tickle him when supervised by another adult in order to protect yourself against accusations of paedophilia?
Molly – please feel free to slap my forehead and call me silly. Thank you.
Hans – true, true. It’s not the *food* that’s the problem. It’s the fact that today’s kids (and adults, I will admit) are lazy lardass ********.
Alan – spot on. They could get Michael Jackson on as one of the guests when he has to do community service as well.