Alex flipping Ferguson – shut the **** up

Has anyone ever come across a more sore loser than that red-faced Scots get? Arsene Wenger has his “I didn’t see it – the referee is making it all up” nonsense, but Fergie really takes the half-time orange (or prawn sandwich).

Over the years we’ve had him blame the weather, the pitch, the wind, the crowd… everything apart from his players and his own cock-ups. Hell, when he got caught speeding, he just said he has the ***** and was let off.

Last year, Arsenal went an entire season unbeaten. This, however, wasn’t good enough. They weren’t a Championship-winning side, apparently. Not according the Fergie. They didn’t deserve it. Why? Because they drew too many games.

Now, hang on. ManUre finished third with 15 fewer points. Arsenal drew 12 games and lost none. ManUre drew 6 and lost 9. Arsenal won more games than ManUre. They scored 9 more goals and conceded 9 less. Yet they didn’t deserve to win? Get off your sodding high horse, Fergie.

Then this season he has the gall to say there’s nothing between ManUre and Chelsea. Let’s look at that table (with one game to go) again, shall we? I see 20 points, 8 more wins, 4 fewer draws, 4 fewer losses, 15 more goals for, 11 fewer goals against, a Champions’ League automatic qualification spot and a Premiership trophy between them. Oh, yes – and the fact they’ve just taken the long-standing record for most number of points scored in a Premiership season off ManUre.

A bit more than just glimpsing daylight, I’d say.

Face it, Fergie. Your run is over. Deal with it. Stop being a bitter old bastard and show some good grace, you pathetic, arrogant prick.