Health and exercise

Allergies

It’s official. I’m allergic to exercise. Well, I think I am.

I’ve decided to cycle to work a few times a week (10 miles each way) and have joined the gym nearby. On the days I don’t cycle, I’ll go there. Well, once I’ve managed to cycle to work. I’ve manage about a mile so far before wanting to donate my legs to medical science as paperweights.

As a quick aside, the gym was a very good deal. As I work in the same area (Dean Clough in Halifax), they waive the £100 joining fee, reduce the admin fee by £15 and knock the monthly membership down by £6. In addition, my work give me around £15 (pre-tax) towards the membership. It works out at less than a quid a day. Not bad even if I just use the sauna, jacuzzi and showers.

Thing is, since I brought the bike home, every time I go through the manuals, sort out the safety helmet and so on I start sneezing. I was at it for ages the other night.

Then I went into work the morning, and I had my induction/health check thing at the gym at lunchtime. I was sneezing again. Lots. No other allergy signs, so it’s not hay fever.

I therefore decree that exercise is bad for me and for health and safety reasons, I should forever be a lazy lardass.

I just need a doctor to give me a note.

Some mistake, surely?

As I mentioned, I went for my health check thingy at the gym at lunchtime. The results were… surprising. Despite my “I am pregnant” belly and spine curvature, and the fact I get knackered walking up the steps to bed, I’m apparently very fit.

Resting heart rate is 59bpm. The average for my age is 70-odd. My body fat is 18.2%, well within the 17-23% range. My systolic blood pressure is the only worry, being “borderline”. I can live with that.

Since then I’ve had two of my three “starter sessions” with a personal instructor (Steve), which have been rather eye-opening. Actually, not really. I knew I was ******* unfit and these have proved it more than the silly tests.

I’ve been every day since the start of last week and I’m not fit yet. It’s obviously a con and I may as well pack in now. Only I’m tied up for 3 months’ minimum. Grr. Well, with a 30-minute workout every lunchtime, plus a bike ride every other night and two 3-day festivals before the end of the month, I’ll be surprised if I see July this year.

What the hell have I let myself in for?