Back for a bit

I’m approaching a coursework deadline and am busy for a few nights over the next week or two, so I’ll likely be missing a couple of days on here. I’ll try and post some of the back-dated archive crap I’ve been storing away, though.

One Wedding…

This weekend past I have mostly been getting pissed, recovering and having a good time. Two good friends of mine (Elaine (Riff) and Colin) got married in Newcastle on Friday, and they had a cracking do. I got to the Assembly Rooms just in time, after being annoyingly stuck in traffic less than 50 yards away courtesy of a bunch of idiot builders who decided to block an entire road for 10-15 minutes offloading their lorry shortly after rush hour.

The ceremony – a civil one, none of this religious crap – was short and sweet. The bride wore white (including her Doc Martens), the bridesmaid purple (including her Docs), and the groom a jacket and frilly shirt. The Wedding March by what sounded like Brian May greeted Riff as her dad walked her down the aisle, and after vows were exchanged, Pink Floyd was played while they did the signings and stuff. About 90 minutes of photographs later and everyone headed for the Three Tuns on Old Durham Road.

We had half the pub and the beer garden. Beer was exceptionally cheap, partly due to one of the lads on the bar not being able to add more than two prices together, and the buffet plentiful. As usual at weddings, I ended up pissed and playing with someone else’s kids. In this instance, Dean and Gill’s eldest who’s about 6 and full of more energy than I swear the laws of physics allow in a structure that size.

A brief respite, and the discovery of a sweet shop selling Midget Gems with liquorice ones in, was had courtesy of Louise who let me get changed at hers before the evening do. I was, by this stage, pissed. But it was Louise who managed to spill beer on her carpet. I kindly mopped it up with my shirt. This seemed like a good idea at the time, but my gym bag stank when I emptied it out on Sunday night. Oops.

Her folks picked us up in a taxi later on and we headed for Pelaw social club for the evening do. Joy, another place selling Brown Ale. And a certain youngster was there demanding more piggy backs. Cue me running round the venue like a loon with a small child on my back narrowly avoiding people with trays of drinks.

Actually, at one point I had a Tom on my back. This was not such a good idea as Tom is a good foot taller than me and weighs a fair amount more. But I had the power of beer! I could do anything! For a few seconds before dropping him. Sorry, fella.

I also seem to recall trying to replicate something I used to (be able to) do about 15 years ago. Slide along the dancefloor on my knees while bending backwards, my head touching the floor while air-guitaring the solo to Living On A Prayer.

This would have been spectacular and had me crawling with fit ladies asking to bear my children but for the fact that someone else had much the same idea as me. This resulted in a tangle of limbs and two embarassed-looking elderly rockers climbing gingerly to their feet, looking sheepish. Net gain: no offers of marriage, two bruised kneecaps.

Small person exited with his grandparent shortly after and I was treated to drinkies by his mum and dad to help replace the fluid I had lost due to sweating bucketloads. A drink always tastes better when you’ve earned it. And someone else is paying.

The knees-up wound down around 11:00 and we said our goodbyes to the new Mr and Mrs Riff (Colin knows his place) who by now should be in Canada. I popped via Louise’s to get my stuff and head up to see John, who’d offered to put me up for the night. Luckily, he’s literally a 5-minute walk (10-minute drunken stagger) uphill from Louise’s. When I got there he very kindly offered me whisky. D’oh.

I think I collapsed not long after I got there. Slept well, funnily enough.

…two goals…

Bumped into John’s other half in the morning. Woah. Lucky man… I finally left his around midday and met the bride and groom on the way to Louise’s. A good job as I was so pissed the night before I’d left my camera at the club… Camera in hand, I picked the car up and trailed into Newcastle for the Intertoto match.

I met my dentist (seriously) and his brother around quarter past three. Which is a shame as the game kicked off at 3:00. Ah well – his daughter had fallen ill just as he was originally intending to leave and these things take priority (7-month old daughters, not footy games). We didn’t miss any goals, though. They came in the second half – two from Shearer to get us into the semi’s where we’ll be nicely hammered by Deportivo.

Went out with some friends from Durham on the Saturday night, and got to be exceedingly tired around 4am.

…and some sore legs

Home via Sharon’s on Sunday. A nice bike ride to end the weekend off, which my legs are currently telling me wasn’t such a good idea. Though that could be the piggy-backing and floor-sliding on Friday.

I then spent three hours catching up on video while trying to stay awake and noting down all the times the little **** next door had his stereo on loud (like from when I got back till 8pm yesterday) on the nice council log book I’ve got.

Then to bed with my little KitKat keeping my tootsies warm by scratching them till blood dripped down. How nice of her.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off out to see Hayseed Dixie.