I just don’t get it
There are loads of those daft signs in the back of cars. You’ve seen them: “Dad’s taxi”, “No hand signals – driver convicted Arab shoplifter”, “Yes, I do own the road”… you know the type. Thing is, there’s one I’ve seen all over the place (in various guises) and I just don’t get it:
“No tools left in this van overnight”
Am I missing something here? I’m sure it’s a really subtle joke, probably amongst plumbers and electricians. Come on, lads. Share it with us.
Saddest **** on eBay
I won’t give the guy publicity by posting a link (they go stale anyway), but I found someone selling feedback on eBay yesterday. For a fiver, I think it was, this putz will put some positive feedback on your profile “immediately, or as early the next day as I receive payment. Either way, no more than 10 hours later or your money back”.
If you want to find this horrendously laid-out ad, just do a search for “porn” on eBay.co.uk. He’s about 2/3 of the way down the first page. What’s sadder, I suppose, is it looks like at least one person’s actually bought some.
I now have to explain why I was searching for “porn” on eBay. Oh, come on. You lot know me by now.
There’s a car sticker that ol’ Richard “Hamster” Hammond (or Top Gear) suggested as being worthy of existing.
He pointed out, and quite rightly so, that more important than having “Baby on Board” for preventing rear shunts (because after all, it’ll cry for a bit, if anything, but nothing serious).
HOWEVER, what if you’re taking home that special curry from the curry house? Now if that spills you’re in trouble. To wit, the sticker: “Bhuna on Board” is more apt.
I guess you were looking for porn. Find anything good?
In the USA a “tool” refers to the penis. Can be interchanged with “prick.” You can also say to a man, “you’re a real tool”. It’s not a complement.
eBay is dead brill, i tried to buy a Lambourghini for 50 quid, mind you they told me to sling it, i,m barred now-Bollox
Re: “Am I missing something?”
Don’t you just hate it when someone asks a question and you can’t tell whether it’s rhetorical or not?
They sell porn on e-bay? – I’m shocked, someone should be told!
oh
you already know
that’s alright then
“busy with coursework” my arse – just read your comment in Anni’s blog and can deduce just WHAT you might be busy with…
come on then, don’t fob us off with whiffle about van signs & ebay porn – give us the dirt on the shiny one
we want details man, DETAILS!!
Blimey – you lot have woken up…
Dr Jim – I’d happily slop curry anywhere except in my mouth. I hate the stuff.
Goldfish – on eBay? Nah. You can tell it’s all rip-off crap. Better just surfing and downloading things for free. You’d be surprised at the number of non-porn things that have “porn” in their description, however. To get sad ***** like me to look at them.
Hyg – it’s pretty interchangeable over here, but you can get away with it in front of your granny – it’s s bit more subtle, I think. Like calling someone a pussy (which can mean they’re a bit timid) as opposed to a ****.
dcsun4 – You know, isn’t it weird how things like that happen?
JJ – *whistles innocently* And I’m not posting about the Shiny One yet. Too early, don’t want to jinx anything etc.
A fiver?? it’s gone up from the two quid I heard about the other day.. well someone is making a mint,.. good luck to him/her but bad luck for the ******** that are stupid enough that need the supposed rating!!
Mosh, you doth surely jest!
You’ve evidently had a bad experience at Omars…too much naan can dull the gut. Now how could you turn down one of the Bengal Brasserie’s (Brighouse) finest?
Why does everyone seem to think that I must like curry because I live in Bradford?
Get this – I ******* hate the stuff. It’s vile. It’s wrong. It’s awful. And it’s made of kittens (if you’re lucky).
Mmmmm…..Kittens….
[/Homer mode]
If you’re *really* lucky they peel (or shave) them first.
Those witty car signs, eh? I was behind a red Volvo last night that had one that read “Bollocks to Blair.” Pithy, or what?
SP – as you know subtlety’s not my strong point… so I kinda like that one! Althought I think “Bollocks to Blair (The ****)” would have made better use of the space.
Barry – sorry, fella. Seems I skipped over your post. You should really have bid £50.36 or something for that Lambo. An obscure amount of pence on the end often lands you a bargain.
Mind, I bid £50.37 so I’d *still* have beaten you to it.
VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMM