More handy household hints
When licking the yoghurt off the inside of the foil lid, take care not to slice your tongue open on the sharp edge. If you happen to do so and have a huge, bleeding flap of skin in your mouth, don’t follow the yoghurt up with a packet of salt and vinegar crisps.
Seriously, people. It ******* knacks.
More money-making xmas hints
Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la lalala lala la laaa. Time for making lots of lolly. Fa lala etc. Especially off gullible people. And here’s another brainstorm – Festive Glittery Poo(tm)!
Each lump of Festive Glittery Poo(tm) glimmers in the light and brightens up your toilet pan! See your visitors leave the smallest room with a smile on their face once they divulge themselves of the three extra servings of badly undercooked turkey you foisted on them!
Available on eBay once I’ve bought half a hundredweight of glitter and a 25 large boxes of All Bran. I just hope it doesn’t scratch my arse to bits on the way out.
Ok a week early then lol but 14th he’ll be celebrating 😀
I think we should JJ I am hoping to get him and a few others together down this way for a bash on saturday 17th if anyone fancies popping down to join us.. and if you’d like jelly and cake I am sure I could arrange it 😀
There was me knowing it was soon and just making sure people were aware early enough to bombard ya 🙂
[and what is wrong with shamless advertsing? I even got paypal icons up for donations on my blog 😀 hehehehe]
oooh – Dawn, well noted – let’s hope he gets just what he wants – ie. (among other things) a precision strike on next door with a fatal nerve reagent missile
are we going to have cake & jelly?
Erm… you’re a week out. If you mean mine! Although someone else has a b’day on the 9th according to their MSN ID that they’ve been plugging for the last ******* week and ahalf!
OH and someone is going to hate me for this.. but… SOMEONE IS GOING TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY on WED 😀
Happy Birthday sweetheart!!!
I love your HOMEMADE gift ideas Mosh….. I am sure you could get a job in Blue Peter if you tried 🙂
Even if it is just on how to clean back end of cats up.. oh… and that milkshake??? hope it’s tasting good now 🙂
Also: When frantically masturbating over a photo of Angelina Jolie, do make sure that your girlfriend Kate Winslet doesn’t come in and catch you at it.
Tough bird, Kate. Pain? Pain.
Funnily, the conversation that gave way to my patented xmas gift idea started with someone telling me they don’t put up tinselly xmas trees any more as their cats have a habit of eating them. And pooping them out again.
since KK is already half the way there, why not make her a Festive Glittery Cat ™ and sprinkle her nethers with the glitter.
This will have the added bonus of letting you see where she’s been sitting, thus enabling avoidance of the little sparkly starfish of doom