Well, the countdown’s really begun. I’ve started a new “sideline” blog up at moshtour.me.uk and in less than 28 days I will be in London, and not coming back. In less than fourteen, I will have moved all my possessions and furniture out and will be dossing with friends for a couple of weeks.
It is now most definitely reaching almost “scary” proportions as I frantically look around and wonder if I’ve missed anything.
Then I realise I have, but that’s on the other blog (along with pictures of the t-shirts!) Go, now!
One thing I was hoping to do was to leave my house “useable” on first arrival by whoever buys it. You know, some water or drinks chilling in the fridge, loo roll on the spindle, cleaning products available in case it’s got dusty… the little things that’d make life that bit easier when they first move in.
However, I’m down to my last loo roll. I put it on the other night and I really don’t want to go buying another 4- or 8-pack or whatever for the sake of a couple more poops.
Then I realised how long the last one had lasted for. And then I realised that there hasn’t been a woman in the house for ages (no housemates or anything). Then it hit home how much bog roll the fairer sex go through.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t use a single sheet, wipe, fold, wipe, fold and so on until there’s not a square millimetre untainted by faecal matter before reaching for another. I’m not quite that stingy. But I can make a standard Morrisons Bettabuy cheap’n’nasty 2-ply roll last me a month quite easily. I was going through 2-3 rolls a week with a woman in the house.
What the hell do you lot do with it all? Wrap it round your hand like a big boxing glove before fisting yourselves to make sure you’ve got every bit? Or do you just like playing Egyptian Mummy in the bathroom when the door’s locked? Perhaps I’ve not noticed that my ex-housemates have actually had really, really small boobs and have been padding their bras?
Either way, I think I’m safe with the last roll I have. There should even be about half of it left to leave for whoever buys the house.
They may need to dust it before first use, though.
Hope you enjoyed the weekend Mosh. Hope It wasn’t too disappointing meeting me in Cambridge. Hopefully will have time this week too ressurect the blog.
Nah, not *too* disappointing… 😉
I just added a write-up to the new blog (link higher up the page here)
weeeeeellll,
if you’re drinking the right amount of water a day then you’ll be pissing it out just as often – so factor in 6 or 7 visits a day
no shake & drip dry for us girlies, so you’re talking perhaps two wipes a visit, 3 sheets per wipe – that’s 294 sheets a week just on number ones…
& we all know number two’s often take a bit of extra effort (in all senses of the word) whatever that scrawny McKeith woman might have to say on the matter – so assuming you’re eating right, 7 of those a week, 4 wipes a pop = gives you 84 more sheets down the drain
and that’s before you even start to think about the additional uses available (no – not THAT one, we’re talking girlies here remember) – blotting lippy, removing make-up, cleaning up wee & curlies from the bog seat after a bloke’s not bothered, nose blowing etc etc
2 – 3 rolls a week
– you were lucky!!!
JJ – you forgot the small fact that normal people don’t hold all their toilet requirements until they’re at home. I know I poop and pee in the office (sometimes even leaving my desk), so that should knock a dent in the amount used.
And, hang on – three sheets a wipe? I don’t use that much on my arse when I’ve had the *****.
must be three sheets – otherwise you’re risking the dreaded finger through…
Well, if you *wiped* instead of *poked* there’d be less chance of finger-through as well.
oh, and moissssst toilet tisssssssue is the ultimate pinnacle of a civilised society
FACT!
You mean spit on it before you wipe?
pshaw – that used to be the drill in the days before enlightenment & civilisation (or a tap next to the bog) – but no longer
ah, moissst toilet tissssssue, how I love thee and you’re soft & gentle bottom cleansing ways