Mike Ashley, who owns Newcastle United, has had a ticking off from the boys in blue. While watching us getting humped (deservedly) by an excellent Arsenal team on Saturday evening, he was – as he often is – in the away end with the travelling fans. And he drank a beer.
The bastard.
Apparently police received a complaint from a member of the public. They’ve not said what the complaint actually was. I’m reckoning it was along the lines of “how come I can’t get a beer while I’m watching the football, but he can?”
Mike’s (lawyer’s) response is that he had been given the beer and been told it was non-alcoholic, which is about as weak as being pulled over for tonning down the M6 and saying you were about to **** yourself. Not to name any Alex Fergusons. Thing is, doing 100+ down a major motorway is still somewhat dodgy. Drinking a beer (incidentally, while standing up – another offence punishable by death according to some health and safety *******) shouldn’t really be on the same scale.
Thing is, I’m not sure if it’s an actual law he broke. It’s a Premier League regulation that you can’t drink beer within sight of the pitch. I’ve been to grounds where the steps up to the seated area have yellow boxes painted on them which you’re not allowed to so much as dip your toe into if you’re holding a beer. I’ve been told off for it, even when my back’s been to the pitch and it’s half time so nothing’s happening anyway. Utter lunacy. Note that this is Premier League – I don’t believe the same restriction holds for the lower divisions. It certainly doesn’t for rugby where you can knock back a bottle of JD while sat in your seat for all they care.
Then there’s the whole “standing” thing which gets my goat. Grud forbid we go to a football match and actually ******* enjoy ourselves. What kind of world would that create?
******* madness. Yet another example of the laws and bureaucracy and sheer ******* muppetry that has me looking for another country willing to accept me.
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I would like to know how the police distinguish who should or should not be arrested when caught drinking alcohol at a football match.
I was naively caught at an Arsenal match the season before last not realising what the consequences were. It was the first & only time, but unfortunately I was confronted by an over zealot steward who was screaming at me to hand over my can of beer. After a few choice words as I felt I was being treated with contempt & discourtesy, I finished the drink & lobbed over the can for him to collect as I was unable to hand it over personally.
I was not afforded ‘words of advice’ from the police but was instead maliciously & vindictively arrested & prosecuted. I had never been in trouble before & believe the whole incident was unnecessarily over zealous.
As a result I had my season ticket confiscated & also banned for the whole of the next season as well as a fine & a criminal record which will be used against me for the rest of my life.
So yes I do feel agrieved, & because I couldn’t afford a lawyer I couldn’t defend myself having to just go along with what the duty solicitor advised to get it over & done with.
Longest reply I’ve had on this blog in a while – thanks Michael! And you’re not shouting on deaf ears either, I do agree with everything you said and you have my sympathies.
The problem, to me, is that football grounds are policed too vigorously. I appreciate 20 years ago they were warzones, but seriously – how often do you get those scenes in this day and age? Yes, it does happen but so rarely that it makes the news when it does.
If anyone’s going to get drunk, they can manage it easily enough before a match, at half time for a top-up and then afterwards. Even these ridiculous midday kickoffs (i.e. before the pubs used to be allowed to open) on a Sunday were pointless. Haven’t they heard of “supermarkets” which sell “cans”?
I recall about 4-5 years ago, a Middlesbrough supporter was stripped of his season ticket for being “drunk in attendance” at a home game. The evidence presented to the authorities? He was asleep. He’d had two pints before the game, but only 2 hours’ sleep the night before after a late shift. And he was watching Boro. Of course he fell asleep.
It’s ridiculous and you have my sympathy as you’ve been made an example of, simple of that. I’ve found that stewards at some grounds can be right arsehole, and I think yours just went all shitty about the can being “thrown violently at him” when you simply intended to pass it. And, of course, who are the police going to believe?
I came close to being thrown out of St James’ Park shortly before I gave up my season ticket. I had the temerity to complain about several people smoking around me. At the time, it wasn’t illegal, but it was against company policy and a breach of the season ticket terms. I got abused, I abused them back and I was warned to calm down.
Roll with it, fella. Any club that’ll take your ticket off you for wanting to have a good time while hurting nobody else doesn’t deserve your support.
I once brought a soda to the balcony at Radio City Music Hall* and got yelled at by one of the ushers.
Not quite the same, surely, but he didn’t find it amusing when I accidentally dropped it as he was yelling at me. And yes, it really WAS an accident!!
*You’ll note I didn’t mention that I was thirteen, was attending my first concert sans parents, and that I was seeing A-ha. I have a reputation, after all 😛
And I bet if he’d not yelled, you’d not have dropped it.
Any chance you hit Morton on the head with it?
Alas, I didn’t. I had a MASSIVE crush on him at the time—I realized the error of my ways just a few years back when I saw him on Graham Norton and realized what a ******* twit he was/is.
Ooog!! My friend DID get him to stare right at us though when she did the old hairspray + lighter = fun trick!! Does that count for anything??
(The usher didn’t like that, either, oddly enough–but he didn’t find out who done it 😛 )
Hairspray and lighter? Does your friend have dark skin, a beard and wear a turban? They sound like the Bush administration’s description of a terrorist. Carrying something flammable, and having fun in a public place. Scum of the earth…