Obligatory US election post

Nothing through resultwise yet, but still I’m sat here at around midnight French time with buttocks clenched like a virginal choirboy‘s arse awaiting the first results. I know it’s not my country, but we have to worry about this.

You have two candidates who could walk away with it: a (half-)black guy that a good proportion of the country hates on the basis that he’s only good for picking cotton. And worse, he’s far smarter than they are. Unforgivable. And an aging warhorse (who’s running mate is, frankly, insane) who’ll just kill us all quicker as he follows in Bush‘s madness. Worse is he also seems smart enough to know what he’s doing but insane enough not to care. So kind of like Dubya, but with brains. Except for the bit where he lost the plot completely and picked one of the most mentally deficient women in the world as his running mate.

Thing is, I hang on in hope that something miraculous will happen. And then I remember what happened four years ago. When the ******* idiots over the Pond decided to put an unbred retard back in charge after four years of utter lunacy.

While I appreciate that the results of that election (and his first) were dodgy at best and illegal at worst, the fact that enough people voted for the daft **** to make the decision borderline is – frankly – scary.

Amaricans, please, save my sanity. It’s around the end of the working day out there and I know that means a lot of you will be popping by the polling station on the way home. Please, I beg you, save us all from another four years of complete madness led by the oil corporations. And worse, the possibility of Sarah Palin (porn star) running the free world if McCain carks it.

Remember that a lot of the world hates you. Well, not you personally, but the image if you portrayed by the fuckwit you’ve had as head of state for the last 8 years. And think that the slightest margin could have that legacy continued in the form of McCain/Palin.

I like Americans. I’ve met loads of you. You’ve got a great country.

Please don’t let us continue to think you’re all stupid, inbred, racist, greedy ********. Vote for the black(ish) guy. Give it four years. If it doesn’t work out, he’s not got long enough to **** it all up. We gave our lot 12 years to destroy our country and piss all over our national identity.