This parenting lark

Naughty step
Naughty step (Image by memespring via Flickr)

I’ve kind of got into the parenting thing quite late on. Not so much in my life, but of those of the kids I’m finding myself scarily “responsible” for.

Quick catch-up for those who didn’t know. By day I’m a secondary school teacher, trying my best to control other people’s kids. By weekend (and holiday), I’m a boyfriend and try my best to control two specific kids owned by my better half.

To be fair, they’re lovely kids. ‘E’ is almost 10 (going on 16…) and her brother ‘A’ is approaching 3. He’s quite a handful compared to big sis, but they get on like oil, water and a box of matches at times.

I’ve got no siblings. The closest I’ve got is my little cousin, the same age as ‘E’ and the two of them get on really well. Little Cuz was over for a sleepover last night which kept the girls quiet. ‘A’ had a cracking day as well, really well behaved – even going as far as to tidy up. Unheard-of territory!

And then today. We went swimming this morning, only his second ever trip to the baths. He was less sure of himself than last time and it took us a while to get him in the water past his ankles, but after a while he was having fun, swinging at swimmers-by with a large polystyrene purple float. As you do. He was great round Asda, as he usually is, then fell asleep in the car on the way home. As he does.

He was also cranky when he got woken up as we arrived home. Nothing unusual in this! However, he pushed “crank” too far when Gill sorted out a butter and jam sandwich for him. He waited with taste buds erupting as she spread the butter. Then the jam.

And then lost it when she started to cut the bread. Screams, arms going. Gill folded it over and handed it to him and he went mental. Pulled it into two bits and threw it at her. Not good behaviour at the best of times, and especially not when his mum’s nursing a pretty awful head cold.

Naughty step time.

I might not be ‘A’s dad but we both share one very common trait. We’re stubborn as all hell.

‘A’ refused to sit on the step. He screamed. He yelled. He bawled. In between he drooled, cried and somehow found time for the occasional sob. I tried to make him sit. Not having it. I told him to sit. Nope. His mum wandered past (around the 15 minute mark…) and told him to sit. He refused.

He screamed in my ear at a pitch that would likely have had dogs for three streets around running in circles. This went on for three or four minutes until he was coughing. I sat and stared at him. He screamed some more. I stood up and turned my back on him.


I turned around and he was stood there sobbing. I pointed to the step. He shook his head. I turned my back.


I turned around and he was legging it upstairs to his room. I collared him and carried him back down. Needless to say, there was more noise.

Time to lead by example. By now he was crying his head off and standing with his arms open, asking for a hug. I sat down and explained to him that if he sat down next to me, he’d get one. I said please. He repeated what I wanted. Then refused to sit down.

We were on around 25 minutes by this time. I had a pretty watch to look at (thanks, Gill!). ‘A’ had nothing.

I sat. He cried. I tried to explain the rules, he screamed. I stood up and turned my back, he sobbed.

Finally, after forty minutes I sat and ‘A’ collapsed on the stair at my feet. As promised, cuddles followed for me and from his mum. He was much more settled after that and had a good afternoon playing quietly while sick mummy slept on the sofa.

One thing my parents always tell me (and everyone else, thanks folks) is that I was a stubborn little sod as a child. Some things don’t change. ‘A’ picked himself the wrong person to try his luck against!

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i’m not entirely sure who i feel more sorry for πŸ™‚

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Looks like your doing a great job. As a step dad to 3 kids, I can tell you that in some ways it can be both more difficult and more reqrding than with you own (biological) at times. I’ve always thought you’d make a great dad (don’t see why I should suffer alone!)
Best of luck when they turn teenagers (or you eldest daughter marries a guy with piercings and tattoos and Ginger hair!!!!…… Or perhaps that’s just me!)


You are doing such a wonderful job. I am so happy for you. You make a great “male influence”. I see that stubborn streak in you has paid off. I wish you and your better half my best.


Sounds like you handled that as well as it could be handled.

I few years ago I was involved with a woman with a 12 year old daughter. Luckily for me the screaming tantrum thrower was her bio-dad and not her. Although she did tend to act out a bit more when she came back form a weekend with her dad.

Sounds like things are going well with Gill… I’m glad to see this.

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