Author: Mosh

Reply from KFC and other gubbins

Letter from KFC

Dear Mosh,

Thank you for contacting the Customer Careline regarding the current advertising campaign. It is not KFC GB Ltd’s aim to offend or upset the viewing public with our advertisements and we apologise if we have done so. All comments are appreciated and have therefore been passed to our marketing department for their information. However we understand that the current campaign will be running for the forseeable future.

With regard to the store finder facilities on our Website, this is currently under review. Once again we apologise for any dissatisfaction that has been caused.

And no ******* free vouchers to try and buy me off. Tightwad ********.

You know you’re getting old when…

…you can eat a bowl of Shredded Wheat without burying the foul stuff in sugar

…you spend more time walking around holding your stomach in thinking how good it makes you look than actually doing exercise which would mean you’d not have to hold the damn thing in in the first place

Ickle kiddie in the pub

I went into the pub at lunch (erm… for a change) and hung around the pool table with a bunch of the lads from work. After a bit, the cutest little toddler came… well… toddling through to see what we were doing.

You know how kids are just so cute around that age? Just able to walk, stary eyes, little smile, everything around them just so damn interesting? Lovely kid.

She vanished after a bit into the safety of her pram. After a while we heard her having a bit of a cry. I saw her parents. I think she’s just sussed how she’s going to end up. What a pair of mingers. I mean, I’m hardly one to judge but it doesn’t seem to matter which set of genes she inherits the strongest. Either way, she’s ****** once they kick in.

Poor bugger.

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The reverend

Jesse Jackson’s on tour at the moment, and I heard him on 5-Live this morning. This is a guy I have a lot of respect for. He’s not one of these loud-mouthed black militant "stand up and fight" people – he’s a "stand up and vote" person. Much more constructive.

He did, however, seem to make a slight slip. Regarding the Michael Jackson trial he complained that MJ is supposed to be judged by a jury of his peers, but there are no blacks on the jury. So? Since when was MJ black? He’s been white for well over a decade.

Besides. you try and find 12 "good men and true" who are also mentally 12 years old, multi-millionaires, mad as a bag of rabid badgers and closet kiddy-fiddlers.

Allegedly.

Dixons reply

I had a phone call today from the manager at the Dixons garage that screwed me around on Sunday (see earlier post). Have you ever heard a manager squirm? It’s a very satisfying sound.

They’ve offered to bring a car out to me for a test drive, give me a "special deal", ensure there’s definitely someone there is I want to come in… Of course, deals don’t mean jack to me as it’ll be a company car and I’m getting it through a lease firm. I’m not telling them that, though. If I do then all of a sudden they just won’t care any more!

I might string them along for a bit. Or I might just check out a dealership outside Bradford instead. On the other hand, this might be enough leverage to get me a decent length test drive of a diesel rather than 15 minutes in a petrol, which is hardly going to help anyway.

No sign or mention of a cheque for £30 though. The tight gits.

Charity apologies

The HTML to get the right hand column working has turned out to be a little more complex than I thought (i.e. I’m too thick to suss it right now).

As an interim, please check the following links: