Gillian and me in Venice (Photo credit: Iain Purdie)
I’m relieved and happy to say that my initial draft of this post has been overhauled and updated to reflect a slightly more optimistic view of the future, but that doesn’t lessen the importance of why I’m posting. I would be very grateful if friends/family could read this as it’s important to Gillian and I that you’re aware of our current situation and what may happen in coming weeks/months if things don’t work out.
Hopefully everyone will see this post at once. It seems the best way to get the “news” out.
Gillian and I came very close to separating recently.
As I stated in a blog post back in the new year, I was failing her as a husband and failing the kids as a father. Gillian was becoming less and less happy, and more certain that she was better off as a single mother.
In addition, I did something last year that I hugely regret. Use your imagination – you’re probably right and I don’t want to talk about it. However, at that time and while going through counselling to try and salvage our marriage (something I convinced Gillian to stop as I was finding it very uncomfortable and non-beneficial, in hindsight another error), I was given the opportunity to come clean about any other indescretions; one in particular about which I was directly questioned.
I chose to lie about it and cover up, believing that it was in the past, had no bearing on the present and future and was better left buried.
I was wrong.
Gillian discovered last weekend that I had been dishonest about this and asked me to leave the household forthwith. A friend, to whom I will be eternally grateful, offered me a spare room while I got my feet under me but – thankfully – after some frank discussions, some structuring of our life plans and some serious heart to hearts, Gillian has extended me one final chance.
I would ask all of you who may feel divided loyalties in this matter to bear this in mind: I am at fault. Entirely. Gillian is thinking, in the long term, of our family. I trust her judgement. I want nothing but the best for her and for our three wonderful children who I would miss more than I can ever put into words were we to part ways. She would, of course (we’ve discussed this), allow me full access. But I’d miss things like being woken up at 5am by a toddler screeching for Cbeebies. Much as I complain about this, it’s memories like this that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
More than anything else, I’m sorry for what I’ve done to Gillian who – and I appreciate that anyone would find this hard to believe given my actions – I love, respect and admire more than I can say.
Many of you will have seen the post on the Moshville Times explaining that I’m putting it on the back burner at present – bubbling along, but not focussed on nearly as much as I have been up until now. This is the main reason. I’ve become far too distracted from my family and I need to dig myself out of the comfy, antisocial hole into which I had slid. Raising children and being a husband aren’t easy tasks, or at least they don’t come naturally to me.
The solution to this shouldn’t be to hide away from it as I have been doing, but to realise I’ve had a very rich and fulfilling (and easy) life up until now and to man up and face this new challenge. One which should (WILL!) be even more rich and fulfilling.
The court, no surprise, found in my favour on May 2nd. Amazon didn’t submit a defence. In fact, from what I can gather by the fact I’ve received an “Extract for Payment”, they’ve not responded to the court over the judgement either. I’m not sure what happens next, whether Amazon get in touch and send me a cheque or if I have to chase them. I’ve emailed the court to find out.
In the meantime, I posted the following to Amazon’s UK facebook page. Feel free to like/comment until they inevitably remove it. [and this one, as the “posts from others” seem to be hidden while this one isn’t – hell, post your own messages!] I wonder if they’ll block me the way Arnold Clark did as well when I posted that they were pirates and thieves?
Yay! My Small Claims case against you finally came through after you refused to acknowledge your responsibilities under the Sale of Goods Act to have my rather expensive tablet repaired. No surprise there as everyone under the sun other than your “customer lack-of-service” department knew you were liable.
Love how you sent me a “we won’t admit liability, but will give you the cash if you sign something saying you won’t tell anyone why we sent you money” letter during the case. That’s pathetic.
It seems you’ve not replied to the court at any point during these proceedings, either to put up a defence or to respond to the award being issued in my favour. Please don’t tell me I’m going to have to get bailiffs sent in…
Much love from an ex-customer.
UPDATE: A few people have asked for the address I sent the court papers to. This was 2014, but in case they’re still valid:
Amazon.co.uk
Patriot Court
1-9 The Grove
Slough
Berkshire SL1 1QP
Feel free to check this one out on what I assume will be public record once it’s over. Amazon are trying to keep me quiet on this one with a bribe… erm, “out of court settlement”, one condition of which is not telling people why they gave me the money I requested.
Sorry, I’m not going to shut up. Amazon have acted illegally, are currently acting illegally and will continue to do so as long as it’s in their financial best interests to do so. The general public has a right to know that Amazon refuse to recognise their legal responsibilities under the Sale of Goods Act and that there are measures which can be taken to have goods repaired or replaced which have broken down outside of warranty.
Briefly, the tl;dr version:
You buy something expensive
It lasts 18 months – warranty was for 12
It’s a decent piece of kit (not a cheap knock-off), from a known manufacturer and you paid a fair bit for it. You – and any other person – would reasonably expect it to last for (say) 3-4 years
You can prove that the fault was inherent at the time of purchase and not the results of neglect, accidental damage, etc.
The retailer is liable to repair/replace under Sale of Goods Act
Amazon will deny this and try to foist you back at the manufacturer in the hope they may effect an out-of-warranty repair
It’s not the manufacturer’s responsibility – go to Small Claims Court instead
If you need to get a professional repair place to verify that the item did, indeed, have a faulty component then go ahead. You can claim any charge for this back as part of your case
Amazon will attempt to buy you off with an out of court settlement, but they will admit no liability while doing so. Accept or not, it’s up to you – but one of the terms is that you can’t tell people about how crap they’ve been.
Full version, including back-story:
In January 2012, I purchased an Asus Transformer Prime as a late xmas present for myself. It was a shade under £500, from a reputable manufacturer and their flagship product at the time. I’m not showing off – I’m justifying the fact that I’d expect it to last longer than a year and a half before packing in.
And pack in it did. In August 2013, it just died. It would boot as far as the opening screen and then sit there going no further. I tried a factory reset, reflashing the BIOS… nothing worked. I then looked online and found that this problem while not endemic wasn’t exactly uncommon. A faulty component on the motherboard caused it, and it was a “back to the manufacturer” job to get it fixed.
I checked and the warranty was the manufacturer standard (and legal UK minimum) of 12 months. I did enquire direct with Asus, but was told that even to have the fault diagnosed by their repair centre would set me back over £50 in courier fees – their repair centre is in Eastern Europe.
So I contacted Amazon, citing their responsibilities under the Sale of Goods Act; that if an item breaks down through an inherent fault present at the time of purchase, and has failed to last a “reasonable” length of time then the retailer is duty bound to organise a repair. That term “reasonable” is why I drew attention to the cost and brand of the tablet. If a knock-off £70 tablet I picked up on eBay that had been shipped from China broke down after 18 months, I’d chalk it up to experience. However, by buying a name brand I expected far better – and that’s reasonable.
However, and no small surprise, Amazon told me that as it was out of warranty it was of no concern to them and that I should try contacting the manufacturer who may choose to do an out of warranty repair out of the goodness of their own heart. I replied to this stating that they were having a laugh, re-directed them to the SoGA (which they’d failed to even address directly in their response) and got a reply I’ve had before: “send us the tablet and we’ll give you £75 of vouchers as a good will gesture”. And, of course, they’d probably refurb the tablet and have it on sale for twice that in a matter of weeks.
No, thanks.
Next stop was Trading Standards who told me that they’d had a ton of complaints about Amazon doing this, gave me a reference code, cited the regulations which Amazon were breaching and asked me to keep them updated. They also said I could go through my credit card company using the section 75 regulations by which they share the retailer’s responsibility.
I did start down this line, but gave up once I’d gathered further evidence as – damn it – it’s not MBNA’s fault that Amazon were being dicks. I don’t knw whether they would attempt to recoup the money from Amazon or just chalk it up. Either way, it was Amazon at fault, they’d not gone bust or anything and therefore I should be challenging them.
In fairness to MBNA, each time they came back to me it was to request more information or to say that some evidence I have given them wasn’t acceptable. And each time, it was for a legitimate reason which I could accept. For instance, I initially had a work colleague examine the tablet to locate the fault. However, as he was a friend and not a business, they wouldn’t accept his testimony. I get that, so I went to a shop who charged me £25 to tell me the same thing.
That’s the point where I just thought “screw this” and downloaded the paperwork to lodge a Small Claims case against Amazon. After a brief bit of research online, there seems to be a near 100% success rate taking this route and I know I’m in the right, so I sent the tablet off for repair so that I would be claiming back the correct amount.
This took almost four weeks (by now, we were into January…) and the repair bill was around £250. Add to this the cost of a registered post letter to Amazon with my initial complaint (as recommended by Trading Standards, the £25 diagnosis fee and the cost of lodging the case was £71. This I could also claim back. I also added to my claim interest at the “judicial rate” (set by the court and I have no idea how much it is).
After a bit of back and forth between myself and the court clerks who ensured I had the documentation spot on, it went to Amazon so that they could choose how to respond.
They did so with a letter stating that they’d refund all the money I was claiming for with the exception of the interest. But… they were accepting no liability for the actual reason I was making the claim. By accepting their cash, I would not be allowed to disclose to any third party the details of the settlement.
Basically, they’re like the rich kid in the playground who reckons he can get away with whatever the hell he likes by buying someone off.
Well, you know what? Screw you, Amazon. I’m in the right. You acted illegally. You continue to act illegally. You know you’re acting illegally because it’s cheaper for you to do so than treat people – your customers, the reason you’re rolling in cash – within the bounds of the law.
More people need to be aware of the fact that they have rights to refunds, repairs and exchanges; that they can claim these things direct from you and not the manufacturer; that they can go to Small Claims Court if they need to and know that the law is on their side.
And if I accepted your bribe – because, in my eyes and in my opinion (he stated very clearly – OPINION as permitted under libel legislation) that is what it is – I would not be able to tell people about these rights and option.
So I’m going to let it go to court. I don’t expect Amazon to send a lawyer – it’s too expensive and their bottom line is the only thing of interest to them. I don’t expect them to lodge a defence – they don’t have one. I expect them to be found liable for all the charges and for the reasons I set forward.
And I will then be able to tell you all that this works. That you don’t have to be screwed over by a big company just because it reckons it can ignore the law. More importantly I will be able to do it with a clear conscience because I went the right way about sorting it and ensured that a judgement was made at the end of the process.
Seriously, the Small Claims forms do take a while to fill in but it’s worth it to get the cash back. I’ve done the same with PC World in the past and got the same runaround and response. It’s cheaper for a company to fob you off than respond correctly. For every one person like me, there are a thousand who’ll just shrug and buy a replacement. And I bet a fair percentage of them will buy from the same retailer who just screwed them over.
I learned. I’m not buying any expensive items from Amazon again. Ever. John Lewis will be our first port of call for electronics now as they do a two year warranty as standard.
Thanks for the life lesson, Amazon. I hope a lot more people read this and take back from you what is rightfully theirs.
UPDATE: A few people have asked for the address I sent the court papers to. This was 2014, but in case they’re still valid:
Amazon.co.uk
Patriot Court
1-9 The Grove
Slough
Berkshire SL1 1QP
I think I’ve mentioned before, but this blog’s turned into more of a film review thing than an actual “blog”. Very little in the way of random or personal posts like it used to be back in the day. Work, family and all that get in the way as you get older!
Family is what this post is about.
See, 2013 lived up to the unlucky last two digits. It wasn’t great – though it had its upsides – but what downsides it did have majorly outweighed them. Worst is that they were, in the main, down to me.
You see, I’m married to the most amazing woman you could hope to meet. We have three of the most staggering, beautiful, wonderful kids anyone could ever wish for. We share a house with my mother-in-law who does so much for us and asks nothing in return. My folks, as well, jump through hoops for us when needed. The phrase “beyond the call of duty” could have been coined with them in mind.
This year I’ve let them all down. Things are not going swimmingly in our household at present and I have a lot of work to do to make things right. Putting up this blog post is one step in that direction. Essentially, I like to paint a rosy picture of how things are going – and in fairness I’m incredibly lucky to have the life that I do. As such I like to emphasise the positive notes. But underneath, I’ve let a lot slide this year. Done some things I’m not proud of, hurt people I love and risked everything I have for… well, nothing of any import. Don’t worry, it’s nothing illegal but beyond that it wasn’t anything I want to discuss in detail.
Essentially I’ve been a crap husband, a poor father and a really shitty son. While I have tried on some occasions and done the right thing, I’ve been bloody awful on far more and my lows are significantly lower than the highs have peaked. I am very lucky to still have Gillian with me. Hell, I don’t know why I do. I guess it just highlights exactly how lucky I am to have her.
This isn’t a post to gather sympathy or “it’s OK, we’ve all been there” comments. This is a post to let people know that I am on shaky ground, that I’m not as nice a person as I often make myself out to be and that I need to change. I need people to be aware of this and hopefully that will help me in some way towards righting the wrongs and moving our family on so we can leave 2013 well in the past where it belongs.
I don’t “do” new year’s resolutions, but this seemed as good a time to post this as any other. My job this year is to improve me for the benefit of those around me. To give back to them what they’ve given me and to prove to them that I deserve them. Trust me when I say that I’m aware it will be an uphill struggle and I have my work cut out to “fix” things.
Gillian is a woman who deserves to wake up every morning knowing how much she’s loved. She should be happy every minute of every waking day. Over the last year she’s been in tears more often than I can count, and is very much not in a “happy place”. Our first wedding anniversary passed without the slightest blip on the radar as it wasn’t something she felt that she wanted to celebrate.
This is all due to me and I have a limited time to sort it (and myself) out otherwise I will lose her. That’s it in a nutshell.
As I said, it’s been a while since I posted anything really personal on here, so I’m hoping I’ve not bored people to death.
How time flies, eh? Two years ago today, some muppet went up on stage at the O2 ABC in Glasgow (courtesy of Hayseed Dixie) and made a speech to a crowd of around 1000 people. He waffled on about enjoying the previous tour (cheer), how the band were great (cheer), how he’d been at a gig at the Oran Mor (cheer) and met a woman who he had entirely managed to cop off with.
Eleven months later and he’d decided to make some grand gesture involving said young lady who was stood behind him and had no idea what the hell was going on as she couldn’t hear the speakers.
The muppet was me. The lady was Gillian. The next thing that happened was that I went down on one knee and asked her to marry me. Being an even bigger muppet (and probably in shock), she said “yes”.
Celebrations continued long enough to ensure that barely ten months later we added to our family (on girl, one boy) with the most beautiful baby girl. Three months after that, we tied the knot in Jamaica.
So today marks two years of formal commitment which gained a bit of paperwork last year to keep other people happy while we got a holiday out of it. Two years since Gillian was daft enough to not run away screaming, change her name, undergo plastic surgery and move house.
I can’t express how happy I am that I managed to dupe her into agreeing to marry me, then actually go through with it. The last two years have definitely had their ups and downs, but I’d not want to be sharing them with anyone else.
Gillian – thank you. I love you and here’s to three, thirteen, thirty… more years of ridiculously mushy blog posts due to stupid decisions.
