Black and White and Shitting all over

Newcastle United F.C.
TOON! TOON!

Anyone else here bricking themselves about today’s little kickabout? I’ll likely be in a pub in Dundee that sells reasonably-priced Brown Ale and as near the comforting arms of my better half in case the worst happens. And which sells comfortable-priced Brown Ale and is near the celebratory arms of my better half should the best happen.

Realistically, sorry Sharon, Boro are down – short of some excessive goalscoring. Other than that I’d say it’s even stevens between us, Hull and the forces of darkness as to who takes that third Place of DOOM.

Anything could happen not accounting for massive goal difference shifts):

  • We lose, we’re down. End of.
  • We draw and Hull lose, Hull are down.
  • We draw and Hull draw, we’re down.
  • We win and Hull lose or draw, Hull are down.
  • We win and Hull win and  mackems lose, mackems are down.

This is it unless Hull can overcome a 5-goal goal difference as compared to the scum, in which case a draw could be enough for them to push the mackems down. It does depend on Chelsea winning by five or more clear goals…

I’m actually shaking slightly as I type this. Nerves or excitement, I don’t know which. Perhaps just blind panic.

HOWAY THE LADS!

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Do you know this man?

Match of the Day 2
(c) some greedy bastard

I screen-grabbed the following from Saturday’s Match of the Day, so all rights reserved BBC. And the FA and Premier League will probably try to hit me up for a few hundred quid for daring to show a copyrighted image of football coverage. Well, they can **** off – there aren’t any players in the picture and I’d like to dispute in court the fact that they’d somehow be losing revenue because of this.

Anyhow, see the guy circled? An Aston Villa fan is all I can guess – but what the hell is he wearing? Looks like a woman’s frock and water-wings! It showed up much better on the moving image. If you’ve got a copy of MotD, it’s just after Villa score their goal against Middlesbrough.

What <em>is</em> he wearing?
What is he wearing?
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More North-East silverware

A sculpture entitled 'Angel of the North' by B...
Gateshead. Yesterday. Probably.

Continuing the theme that everyone else on Tyneside if profiting from Newcastle United‘s awful season, Gateshead Schools won their cup final against Northampton. This sees them lift the ESFA Inter Association Trophy after a season in which they’ve been undefeated in all league and cup games. A pretty magnificent achievement – well done!

Methinks I know where we should be looking for replacements to our squad once we offload some of the overpaid, underworking crap we have on the books right now.

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Closing stages

Newcastle United F.C.
Toon! Toon!

Let the arse-puckering begin. After a well-fought 3-1 win over Middlesbrough this evening (well, yesterday evening – it’s late o’clock), Newcastle now sit outside the drop zone, 2 points below the mackem filth. Hull sit just beneath us, but our goal difference is 7 for the better – and currently the same as the unwashed horde’s.

What’s interesting is the run-in. We have Fulham at home and Aston Villa away. By the last game of the season, Villa’s place will already have been cemented. The only thing they’ll have to play for is the fans – and how many professional footballers give a crap about them when putting too much effort in could result in an injury and a ruined summer holiday?

Hull have Bolton and ManU. They could scrape a point from the former, but even a second-string ManU side will run rings round them, the form they’re both in right now.

The scum have Portsmouth then Chelsea. Again, one possible and one you just can’t see them getting anything from.

As such, we seem to have the better run-in.

Of course – bridges/crossing, chickens/hatching. But there’s still an inkling of a chance that we could stay up while the forces of darkness drop down to where they belong.

Is it too early to get my hopes up? Don’t answer that. Of course it is.

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Howay the Bay!

Wembley tickets on sale Hillheads 16th April 2...
Howay The Bay!

Just a quick post to wish Whitley Bay FC the best of luck in their FA Vase final at Wembley today. I wish I could go, but the bargain £20 ticket price is vastly outweighed by the insane cost of transport down there from Perth.

I wonder if there’s coverage on FiveLive or if “licensing reasons” prevent them from broadcasting it online like the Premiership and Champions League games?

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