Category: Uncategorised

Ananova’s Quirkies section is always good for a giggle. I particularly liked this article based on a German survey of car owners. It seems that Porsche-driving males and Audi-driving females are more likely to stray than those driving different vehicles.

What gets me, though, is the magnitude of those numbers. 49% male Porsche drivers have gone behind their partner’s back. Almost half. And the number for other cars seem to float between 40% and 50%, so if you average it, something like a third of German car owners have had a bonk that their partner didn’t know about. This includes the women!

Now, does this say more about Porsche drivers or about Germans as a whole…? And should I contemplate a long holiday in the Munich?

*yawn* As I sit here and watch the seconds tick by till I can get out of here (2640 to go…) I realise I’ve not popped anything on here since Saturday. And in all fairness, that was quite cursory.

Then I realise I don’t have much to scrawl about. Oh no. Blogger’s Block. No random subjects spring to mind, no rants previously unranted, no whinges unwhinged. What is a blogger to do?

Answer: wing it.

A brief run through the old bloglogs shows me some ideas. And quickly I expound on one – copyrighting an idea to say I had it first. OK, how’s this for a little business cracker…

You know those little toys/stickers that you get to put in your car window? Held on with a rubber sucker? Imagine having one for your most hated football team. “But why?” I hear you ask.

Here’s the clever bit. It’s a little figure, hanging limp, dressed in the strip of your arch-rivals. And he’s hung up by a bit of string attached at one end to a rubber sucker… and to the other by a noose round his neck. A hanging mackem. Superb. Wonder if I could make a barrel-load and flog them outside St James’ next season?

And don’t forget, you read the idea here first. So anyone ripping me off can prepare for sue-age.

Ok, what next? Bubble wrap. Stuart’s sat opposite me and is slowly watching a database upgrade. He’s barely moved in the last 10 minutes aside from to pop some of that industrial-strength bubble-wrap. You know, the stuff with bubbles the size of small hen’s eggs. I confess to jumping when the first one went off, but he’s so enraptured he never noticed.

2143 seconds to go…. *sigh*

Well, final match of the Premiership season and still lots to play for. We had to do better than Villa to get 5th spot and a place in the UEFA Cup next year. A result Villa’s way, and another Bolton’s, and we could have finished as low as 7th.

An early Ameobi goal and some frantic defending in the final minutes saw us gather a 1-1 draw. Despite ManUre going down to 9 men, they still beat Villa 2-0, so we got that berth and European footie next year.

Roll on the the Newcastle v Middlesbrough final…

In case you hadn’t heard, the FA today announced the winner of the “Chant Laureate” competition. Basically a competition to find the “best chant” for which the winner gets a £10,000 bursary to traipse around footie grounds and write more stuff.

The winner was some guy who supports Birmingham City. Ironically, his winning entry was a 3-verse opus about Juan Pablo Angel, who plays for local rivals Aston Villa.

Now… why was he going on about Angel in the first place? He’s a Brum fan. Secondly, at what point did terrace chants morph into 3-verse ton ten contenders, complete with chorus?

Welcome to the Weird and Wonderful World of the FA where all fans wave at each other and explain pleasantries during matches. No – save that for before/after the game. For the intervening 90 minutes it’s sheer volume-obsessed, insult-hurling war. And that’s the way it should stay.

Well, I’ve seen more goals in one match than I’ve seen all season, I think. Certainly more goals scored for us away from home than I’m used to. Yet we still couldn’t pull in all three points. Shows how much we’re missing Woodgate.

Small consolation in that Southampton matches up to neighbouring rivals Portsmouth for a wonderful welcome. Absolutely no intimidation or worry walking to or from the game, all the fans stopping to wish you a good game or talk football. Our away contingent was in full voice for most of the game and filled

out the allocated section. Impressive given that the original fixture of a bank holiday Saturday was shifted to a Wednesday night. At least I managed to swing some work down here to saVE some cash.

But our only hope of European football lies in ManUre beating Villa on Saturday and us not losing at Liverpool. Good grief. One of my mates is furious with us for not getting fourth spot, and he’s a Liverpool fan. Apparently its our fault if they still have Houlier managing them next season.

Anyway, I’ve got to crash. Early start in the morning as I have to drive back up the A3 to site. At least I’ll sleep well. Dinner has consisted of one bottle of Newcastle Brown, two pint of Tetley and a pint of Carling.

*hic*