Category: Uncategorised

From the BBC News article: “It said its long-running camping to reduce the price of contraceptives to help bring down teenage pregnancy rates and sexually transmitted infections had paid off.”

Long-running camping? Does that involve mincing up and down Downing Street saying such things as “ooh, missus!” and “shut that door!” while wearing paisley shirts?

…the Lord of the Underworld had a cold, and snot came out of his nose with just the right consistency… would it be in the form of Beelzebubbles?

A few months ago, I had an issue when Vodafone decided my free calls and texts were no longer part of my contract after 6 months. Which was funny as I had thought the phrasing looked a bit weird on my first bill, queried it and was told there wasn’t an issue and they’d run till the end of my contract.

I got that sorted, after coming very close to them taking the money off me regardless and pushing me overdrawn.

Now I need to put my contract on “hold” while I’m abroad. No point in paying £25-ish a month for a phone that’s going to be sat, switched off, in my luggage.

I sent an email and was told, no problem. I’d have to “downgrade” to Pay As You Go and restart my contract when I returned. Just drop them a letter with the details and they’d sort it. This I duly did, asking for them to confirm receipt and the date they’d do it for me.

Lo and behold – no reply. So I chased them by email today just to set my mind at rest. I get a reply back saying that as Im not at the end of my contract, I’d have to pay a “shortfall fee” up to the end date and to ring up to discuss this.

Given that I had to give them 4 weeks’ notice of my “cancel” date and I now leave in slightly over 2 weeks, I’m a little annoyed by this to say the least. I am even more annoyed now that I’ve called them and been told that I owe in excess of £171 to do this as my 12-month contract is apparently actually an 18-month one. They just didn’t actually bother to mention that to me.

OK, apparently they did. Not during my initial contract renewal (where I ensured it was a 12-month contract), not on the contract I signed (because I never signed a contract), but on the despatch note I received with the phone. Apparently.

Well, I can’t remember seeing a despatch note though I’ll assume there was one. I definitely don’t remember signing anything, but I do remember agreeing on a 12-month contract.

The words “sneeky”, “underhanded” and “*****” spring to mind. I’m prepared to accept 2-3 months’ shortfall payment as that seems fair. Although nobody bothered to mention it when I first enquired about “pausing” my account, it’s something I’d expect if I’d agreed to a 12-month contract. However, paying up to December for a phone that will be switched off just ain’t happening.

Out of curiosity, if I tell them to shove it and find myself abroad in a country with no extradition treaty and no UK address or bank account… what the **** can they do about it?

Several months ago I ordered a few tickets to go and see Fear Factory in January. The dates were shifted to April, so I couldn’t go due to disappearing off round the world. The friends I was going with said they could get someone else to use my ticket, so I tried to get in touch with Ticketmaster to have my tickets sent to them instead, what with me not actually having a house and all.

The only way they’d do it was to be sent a fax including a copy of a credit card statement for the card used to buy the tickets with the new address on. For ****’s sake. Let’s give a not completely unrealistic hypothesis: you buy tickets 4 months in advance for a gig, the tickets won’t be shipped till 2 weeks beforehand, you move house and you cancel the card you bought the tickets on. You’re ******.

Anyway, I rang my credit card company and changed my address to my mates’. This makes no odds to me as I pay off the full balance by direct debit anyway. After a week or two, a statement comes through. I pick it up and do the paperwork. Sorted.

Or so you think.

I just got an email from Mel. She missed the postie by 5 mins and now has one of those nice “we waited till we saw you leave the house then shoved this card through your door in lieu of the stuff you actually wanted” cards. On ringing the number on the back, they’ve refused to rearrange a redelivery unless I call them.

Now, hang on. She’s asking for a redelivery to the same house they’re addressed to. Now, if her husband rings them up and asks them to do it, they likely will. Because, having a slightly deeper voice, he can just say he’s me. Likewise, if Mel wants to go and pick them up then “I” have to sign the card to say I’m sending someone else to collect them. Of course, the Mail don’t have a copy of my signature to compare to, so again she can just forge it and go and get the bloody things.

Once again, I am aghast at how utterly stupid and petty the Royal Mail are. Dumbstruck. They really take the phrase “we are utter and complete ******* ***** and will do our best to only get worse” to heart. I think I may suggest it to them as their new company mission statement. At least they’ll be onto a winner with that one.

Quite an impressive haul – up to £50million. Almost enough to buy 4 Premiership footballers. Or 1 Premiership footballer if you’re Chelsea and their agent sees you coming.

However, am I the only one who’s noticed a surprising similarity between this one and the one allegedly performed by the IRA last year? Kidnap the guy who runs the operation and hold a gun to his and his family’s collective heads?

I may have my details wrong, in fairness – I’ve not had a net connection to be able to check the history – but in essence it seems like a very similar tactic.

As I drove up to Glasgow, I heard they’d arrested two people already. I guess all you’ve got to do is wait for someone on income support to walk into a shop and try to buy a Maseratti with a huge case full of used fivers.