Category: Uncategorised

Does God play dice?

This questions came up on a mailing list I’m on. Don’t ask how, I can’t remember. It’s that kind of mailing list.

The thing is, you look at the world andhow random it is and – should you be sheeplike enough to believe that some universe-spanning being’s controlling it all – maybe dice make sense. Of course, you’ll then immediately have umpteen churches setting up. The Church Of The Tetrahedron – God uses 4-sided dice. The Church Of Twelve. Cries of “Follow the Dodecahedron! Ignore the heathen believers of the cube!” flying around.

People are fools. They even think God plays cards. Someone suggested that perhaps be plays Byzantine (or something). Personally, I reckon if he/she/it did then it’d more likely be Top Trumps.

Buddah: Hmmm… number of followers – 2 billion
God: No fair. You’ve got China.

Of course, why play cards when you have the single largest Massively Multiplayer Online Role playing Game in existence. The Earth makes Grand Theft Auto look like a shitty little Lego set. Hey, maybe that explains the massive feeling of satisfaction you get mowing down a whole row of Krishnas in the original GTA? Nah – it’d be just as good if they were bible-thumpers.

Think of all the fun you could have dropping random catastrophes on people, like in Sim City. I’d still do the old “Sims” trick, though, and lure people I didn’t like into a 1×1 room and remove the door so I could watch them go insane and **** themselves.

Soggy sarnies

My lunch was a bit damp. Some ****** switched the fridge in our office off, probably sometime over the weekend. Thing is, to do it they had to move the fridge out from under the worktop and then put it back.

The water from the freezer compartment just started to leak out today and it’s gone over everything in there. End result, one quarter of my lunch was waterlogged.

Made it taste funny. I couldn’t lift the bread up to put my crisps in, either. Not happy.

One down…

As of this evening, my final maths coursework will be in the post. Well, technically not the final one but I’m not going to do the actual final one as it’s pointless and has no bearing on my passing the course.

So I now only have the VPN report to write. After I’ve researched it. And sussed how to present the report. And got some documentation. And slept.

Another flipping stumbling block inflicted on civilised society as a result of terrorist activity. With all these bag searches and stuff, it’s nigh on impossible to smuggle booze into a football ground. ********.

Worse (possibly), it’s also harder to do the same thing with a nightclub. I mean *shock horror* that anyone would want to smuggle alcohol into a club and *heavens to betsy* get drunk there. What would the world come to? Mind you, clubs are doing their level best to ensure that people don’t abuse alcohol, using the simple method of charging a ******* fortune for a bottle of E-numbers with some vodka in it.

Soft drinks? Bad for your teeth. Therefore their scheme of charging you three quid for a glass full of ice cubes with a dash of Coke is likely the result of close discussions with the British Dental Association.

More yee-hawin’

Went to see Hayseed Dixie again last night – fourth time in a year. This time they played the main hall of Rock City and, though I don’t think it was technically a sell out, there was a hell of a crowd there. John played fiddle for the (not bad) opening band, and HD themselves played a full 2 hour set.

It seems they’re now doing fewer gigs, but they’re larger – and still quite cheap. By all accounts they’re finally starting to earn some decent money from all their efforts and good ******* luck to them. They’re still not too big that you don’t see them in the pub next door beforehand, and milling around right after the show. Somehow I can’t see that ever changing, no matter where success takes them.

Another blinding set, good humour, pleased crowd and worthwhile trip. And the first time I’ve ever seen a linedance/moshpit. Or a scary Hell’s Angel carry a mandolin player around on his shoulders for the duration of a song.

Our interwebnet connection in the office has been up and down like a cheap whore’s g-string today. Thus resulting in a rather dull day for yours truly. All the information I have for that VPN report is online and I’ve not been able to access it, which has been a bit of a bind.

Nice to see the petrol stations are empty again. I might even be able to fill up without a 2-hour wait. I tried to get some shopping on Monday night and couldn’t get into Morrisons because of all the muppets queueing up. For anyone who knows Girlington Morrisons, the line stretched from the petrol station, through the car park and along Thornton road. In both directions. Plus the other entrance. Ludicrous.

Talking of fuel stations, Louise popped out to fill her car up this morning and bumped into Graeme Souness by the pumps. Sadly, we’d not sacked him and forced him to get a job wiping windscreens. He recognised Lou as she took his blood pressure one time (she’s a nurse at the Freeman) and they got nattering. Needless to say, this made quite an impression on the male staff in the shop who were all asking how she knew the Toon manager. Being the sensible lass she is, she lied outright and said they were old friends.

I think the only famous person who ever recognised me ages after I had anything to do with them was Aaron Aedy of Paradise Lost. He once wandered up to me blind drunk in Rios to wish me happy new year. And I stopped him buying one of those ******* shitty iMacs when I worked in PC World.

As I type this I’m on site in Leominster. I don’t know where that is. Somewhere in “marry your own sister” country, I think.

Last night was a long haul, finishing well after 7:00, and finally getting food around 9pm. Given that I’d not gotten to sleep until 3am that morning it made for a long day. Also a slightly embarassing one as I slept in and utterly forgot I was meant to be giving a work colleague a lift in. Whoops. Sorry, Fizz!

At least the weather’s nice. And the job’s progressing, but it’s taking a while longer than we hoped. Hey ho. It’s all overtime!

Dinner last night was also superb. The hotel – I think I mentioned – was ****. We ended up in the one we’d hoped to stay in for dinner and it was worth the short walk. Steak that melted in my mouth, lovely raspberry and rhubarb tart thingy for desert… Nice. Unfortunately, as I’m on call and with my boss I couldn’t have a pint. Gah! Silly rules.

No idea when I’ll get home tonight, and I’ve still not started on my coursework. Maths is done, but needs written into neat but there’s still the 3000-word VPN report to do. Anyone got a spare couple of hours and an in-depth knowledge of network routing topology?

I’m in a really shitty hotel in Leominster right now. My boss’s room door handle is only held on by one screw – it should have 4… Top notch. At least there’s a great program about World of Sport on.

Nighty night.