Category: Uncategorised

Jacuzzi

A friend of mine has just pissed me off. I’m stuck in the office and I get an email saying "See ya later – I’m off for a jacuzzi&quot. Git. Sorry – I’m not allowed to call them that. Bitch.

Jacuzzis are a great idea. They seem expensive at first, but when you work out the saving over the cost of years on the amount of beans you’d have to buy to work one manually they’re quite economical. Plus, you can have candles round the bath which is definitely not an option with the bean-powered version.

Ban KFC

Most who know me will now be saying "what?!"

So I’ll repeat it – BAN KFC.

OK, so don’t ban it as such, but boycott it. For as long as those stupid ******* adverts – in particular the one with the ugly woman with the deformed voice screaching "Wwowoooooaaaahhwowowoooowowoowoaoaaahhhawwwowoow… no".

Until those adverts are removed from the telly, I’m not buying KFC again. Hand on heart. I’d write and tell them, but the KFC web site only has a phone number for the head office, not an address. Actually, I may call them tomorrow.

This must end!

More bloody railways

Following on from the original bloody railways posting of a couple of weeks ago, it’s time for an update.

I got a reply from National Rail Enquiries shortly after that, but it was a "We’ll look at this and get back to you" one. Then I got another this morning with more information:

“I apologise that this complaint has been sent to us in error … I have returned your complaint to WAGN”

Cuntbuckets. How long before it ends up back with ******* Northern? *******.

Is this job dangerous?

This could be one to file in Ripley’s Big Book of Ludicrous Coincidences, but I seem to have suffered more minor injuries in the last few weeks working here than in the last few years at SoftSols. Nothing specifically work-related, though.

Off the top of my head in the last four or so weeks, the following have occured:

  • Pulled leg/groin muscle

  • Burned finger

  • Bitten inside of lip (three times)

  • Bashed head near eye

  • Deep scratch along neck

  • Damaged shoulder muscle

  • Eye infection (twice)

  • Bashed head on top (2-3 times – low ceiling)

  • Almost been run over by ****** in an Audi

  • Cut nose while shaving (I was in a rush, ok?)

  • Particularly nasty cat scratch on my thumb that’s taken 2 weeks to heal

Am I getting clumsy? Old? Or just paranoid?