Category: Uncategorised

How’s this for cool? I dropped Mark Billingham an email about CSI:NY, and I got a reply back this morning:

Thanks very much for getting in touch and for your comments about CSI. My attention to the “similarities” between this episode and my novel SLEEPYHEAD was first drawn a few months ago when it was first shown on US TV…

I have looked into things legally and it would be an understatement to say that it is a VERY tricky area to go into…

I have been in touch withy the programme makers who claim not to have read the book. They DO claim that they’ve since read it, think it’s brilliant and that it would be great if I could go and write for the show!! All very nice of them wouldn’t you say?

We’ll wait and see what happens.At the very least I hope to be writing an article about the whole experience around the time when the next book comes out.

Thanks again for the heads-up and I hope you continue to enjoy the books.

I wish I got job offers when I wrote letters of complaint to TV companies. Hmm. Anyone know the address to write to at Playboy TV?

As an aside, read the books. I’ve read the second one and am partway through the first – yes, yes – and they’re very good thrillers. The second one definitely reads better than the first, so it seems Mark’s improving as he goes on, too.

Incidentally, Mark’s the fourth author I’ve received email from. Stephen Leather sent me an unsolicited “thank you” email from a cybercafe in Hong Kong (!) in response to a review I had on my old web page for The Long Shot; Douglas Adams was kind enough to reply a few times when I was trying to organise something with student radio; and Terry Pratchett I think replied to all the emails he got before everyone in the world started mailing him!

I saw an advert with a grain of truth in it this evening, and lo – I was impressed. Well, sorta. For those who’ve not seen the campaign, Barclays are giving away Premiership-related prizes to people who get lucky receipts from their cash points.

The ad in question features two Man U fans wandering around Old Trafford, into the dressing room and being disturbed by the Strawberry-Nosed One. OK, all so hokum so far. Except that the fans couldn’t be any more Cockney if they wore braces and sang "Knees Up Mother Brown" while eating jellied eels and trying to sell you a cut’n’shut F-reg Escort.

Talking of telly, I also caught the first episode of the new CSI:NY series. Pretty good, but it’ll take a while to bed in, I think. And could there be overkill with three CSI series on the go at once? We shall see.

What struck me, though, was the immense similarity between this episode and the book I’m currently reading: Sleepy Head by Mark Billingham. I won’t spoil either in case you’re interested in reading/watching them yourselves, but the coincidence is uncanny… or worthy of the attention of lawyers.

These have to rate as two of the silliest modes of transport ever. Outside of a congested city centre, they’re pretty useless and anyone riding one looks like a right tool.

Take this morning, for example. The usual announcement of the arrival of one of these … things – an irritating, screechy buzz like a bee trying to escape from a hotwired hairdryer. Then it comes into view, the rider looking far too big for the little toy bike he was on. Hunched up over the front like a sprint finisher in the Tour de France, he just looked like more of a prick.

It won’t go faster just because you try to make yourself more aerodynamic. It’ll go faster (accelerating at 9.8ms^-2 before reaching terminal velocity) if you chuck it off a cliff and buy a proper mode of transport. If it has to have two wheels and be cheap, get a pedal cycle. If you want speed, get a motor bike. If you don’t want to end up as an emergency organ donor, get a car.

I don’t know how many of you caught this on Channel 5 the other night, but I urge you to watch it next week. It’s Jackass meets David Attenbrough and it’s superb.

The two episodes shown on Wednesday night included the great white shark (and diving into the sea next to one), lions (walking past them wearing a zebra costume), baboons (masturbating alongside one to make him feel comfortable), giraffes (french kissing one), scorpions (being stung repeatedly by one), nile crocodiles (taking the piss out of one), ostriches (chasing and racing them), kudu (spitting their poop out of Steve-O’s mouth) and quite a few more.

As a bonus they included the two now-classic lines:

"That proves that scorpions hate men in leotards."

and

"I now have scientific proof that giraffes are great kissers."

HE’S GONE!!!

*sigh*