George W Bush’s CV

I pinched this from Chris’ blog. No idea where he got it from.

EXPERIENCE AND EDUCATION

Law Enforcement:

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver’s license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been “lost” and is not available.

Military:

I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.

By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:

I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975.

I bought an oil company, but couldn’t find any oil in Texas.

The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father’s appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of *over one billion dollars per week*.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S.

Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S.

history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I’m proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My “poorest millionaire,”

Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by a U.S.

President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

One of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I’ve broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector’s access to U.S. “prisoners of war”

detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families — in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans

(71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear “Tactical Bunker Buster,” a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

During the Iraq War and Occupation thousands of American troops were injured and killed. I did not have the time to attend any of the funerals for our fallen soldiers but I did have the time to attend more than 43 fundraising events of the Republican party.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father’s library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

AND STILL YOU FUNTWITS VOTED FOR HIM IN YOUR MILLIONS!!!!

Shut up Graham Sour-ness

I don’t often go on about the footie on here, but yesterday’s match – or the whining afterwards – has pissed me off. I’m no tactician, very much just someone who goes for the atmosphere and the fun of it, but even I could spot major problems early on. For those with no interest in the Bolton / NUFC tie yesterday, just skip down to the next entry. Thanks.

Wasn’t Bernard carrying a knock from the last match? In which case, I understand not starting him. But Robert should have been on from the beginning to support Ambrose. The one time he (Ambrose) did something productive, it involved running up the middle of the park. Prior to that he had managed to make some progress only to find himself stranded.

Likewise, Bellamy was missing the pace of Jenas, sitting on the bench with a sore back. Just as Ambrose found himself sat on the left wing with nobody to cross to, Bellamy frequently found himself in a similar position as he’d hared all the way up there while the remaining players were barely off the starting blocks.

And what’s with standing a player in front of people for throw-ins? I’ve seen it on rare occasion before, but for almost every long throw in? You’re hardly going to obscure their vision if all they want to do is lob it miles, and you’re keeping a player out of the box who could clear a ball off the line.

Then to come out after the game and whinge about Bolton’s tactics, thus bringing us back into the headlines for the wrong reason *again* (I’m looking at you, Mr Souness)…

My only complaint about Bolton yesterday was Diouf falling over like a house of cards every time someone went near him. Aside from that we were tactically outplayed. Well done to Allardyce for studying our form and working out how best to close us down and win 3 points.

We could and should have spotted this earlier on and changed our tactics. It’s hard, difficult, maybe impossible to find a way round the tactics Bolton used without adopting similar tactics yourself. It wasn’t pretty to watch. It does hark back to Wimbledon of old despite the Bolton fans on 606 claiming it wasn’t. It doesn’t matter. It worked.

Bolton’s two scuffy goals both counted. Our one wonder-strike, though much better to watch, still only counted as a sole goal. Well done, Bolton. I’d not go and watch you every week (you were much more entertaining in the cup last year), but fourth place after eleven games is nothing to be sniffed at.