30 Minutes Or Less / The Change-Up

By إبن البيطار (Own work) [GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsA night of comedy for our first cinema trip in a fortnight. We toyed with catching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy as well, but I was pooped and Gillian had work to do. So back-to-back comedies it was!

30 Minutes Or Less

“Sometimes fate pulls out its big ol’ cock and slaps you right in face.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Bad man wants to kill other bad man which means paying another bad man which means roping some other poor sap in to rob a bank.

See it if you like: the idea of Harold and Kumar Rob a Bank

Jesse Eisenberg returns to one of his more common roles as a bit of a layabout in this over-the-top comedy. He plays Nick, a pizza delivery guy whose job it is to get pizzas to customers within thirty minutes. Hence the title. Unfortunately, one one fateful delivery he finds himself trussed up, rigged with an explosive vest and ordered to rob a bank of $100,000 by madman Dwayne (Danny McBride) . Dwayne, you see, wants to off his dad and this will cost him a hundred G’s which he doesn’t have.

He teams up with his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari), and together they set out to try and save Nick’s body from vapourisation. There’s a little more undercurrent in that Nick is in love with Chet’s twin sister, and Chet isn’t really happy about this.

Everything ties together well. There are plenty of characters who are all mad at each other for one reason or another. This means plenty of shouting and insults, most of which are gutter-level. Perfect for a night when the brain just needs to be tickled.

There are plenty of laughs and the story runs along well, never getting tired. Eisenberg and Ansari play very well off each other. I’d really like to see them together in something else in the future.

Certainly not high-brow, but it is funny – something some comedies seem to be lacking these days.

The Change-Up

“You are not having sex with my wife.”

Plot-in-a-nutshell: two life-long friends with very different lives swap bodies after pissing in a fountain together. As you do.

See it if you like: the idea of 17 Again, Vice Versa, Freaky Friday etc. with nob gags.

Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman star as Mitch and Dave, two lifelong friends whose lives have gone in different directions. Mitch is a lazy “actor” who womanises and spends his days wasted. Dave is a lawyer pushing for partner with a hot wife (played by Leslie Mann) and three kids. After a few beers one night, they find themselves caught short in front of a fountain, syphon the python and – as they wish they each had the other’s life – something “magical” happens…

The two actors play each other’s characters very well indeed as Mitch tries to handle nappies and MENSA-level pre-teens, and Dave tries to remain faithful to his wife despite landing in Mitch’s bohemian life.

Of course, being an American movie it needs a dollop of schmaltz and life lessons. Thankfully these are handled well, with a good mixture of slapstick, low-brow humour, swearing and a handful of really very touching moments as our two heroes realise where they’re going wrong in their respective lives.

In the background is the search for the fountain, removed by workmen the morning after the incident – a quest reminiscent of Josh’s search for the Zoltar Speaks machine in Big. And what do they guys do when they finally find out where it is?

This is a really enjoyable film, and certainly better than the trailer made me think it would be. There’s a superb balance of giggles, awkward moments and pathos with the whole thing tying together well at the end.

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Your Highness / Fast Five

A two-film Saturday night courtesy in a change of Gillian’s mum’s shifts. The two which fit nicely into our available timeslot were as follows:

Your Highness

“Quests suck!”

See it if you like: Dungeons & Dragons and drawing cocks on school text books.

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Useless prince has to help awesome brother on a quest to rescue a maiden from an evil wizard. While telling cock jokes.

Your Highness is a very silly film from the people who made Pineapple Express which I’ve not seen. I can see it being a very divisive film – you’ll enjoy it or you’ll think it’s awful. I doubt there will be any middle ground. I also think that watching it over a few beers would be best.

The story tells of Prince Thadeous (Danny McBride) and his squire Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker) who must help elder brother and all round superstar Fabious (James Franco) rescue his virginal bride-to-be Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel) from evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux). On the way they encounter tough-as-nuts questress Isabel (Natalie Portman).

There. That gets the cast out of the way. A cast, incidentally, who apparently improvised the majority of the dialogue. Impressive. Even if the dialogue is fairly basic and full of sexual innuendo. And sexism. And tasteless insults. As I said – best watched with beer.

The cast do carry things off very well, and it’s quite a surprise to see Portman in particular move from OSCAR nomination in Black Swan to such completely different fare. Franco overacts in just the right way while McBride and Hardiker pair off well as the useless slob prince and his aide who doesn’t realise what a dick he is.

For an admittedly low brow comedy, the production values are quite high and the special effects and action sequences aren’t badly done at all.

Definitely not one you’ll be taking the kids to see unless you want to start explaining about Minotaur penises and why a hand would be like a vagina. Let your inner schoolchild enjoy it and you’ll have a good time.

Fast Five

“One last job, then we disappear forever.”

See if it you like: the thought of Newton spinning in his grave

Plot-in-a-nutshell: Members of the casts from all four previous films get together to pull off one last huge job before the franchise retires.

The gang’s all here – and then some. Pulling in cast members from all the films, including the somewhat sideways jump of Tokyo Drift, Fast Five aims to finish the franchise with a bang (although there are rumours of a sixth…)

We watched the fourth instalment the other night in preparation and I realised how slow it was. Gillian really didn’t enjoy it either. A few action sequences held together with a rather dull plot. Definitely the weakest of the series so far after the novelty of the first, buddy/buddy laughs of the second and scenery change of the third.

Fast Five manages to take all the ridiculous madness of the previous four, shove them through a blender, syphon off anything to do with Newtonian physics and pour the mixture onto celluloid. My only regret about watching this film is that I didn’t see it on IMAX.

As I think I hinted at, I think the laws of physics **** themselves when this film hit the screens. It makes no sense whatsoever. On the other hand… who, seriously, cares? It’s got cars, babes, muscle-bound men, explosions, crashes, trains, dirt, guns, grenades, rocket launchers, laughs, spills, fights, romance…

OK, so the plot in brief. Brian (Paul Walker) and Dom (Vin Diesel) team up to pull a huge job in Rio, taking down a drug lord and making themselves massively rich. In a not-very-well-hidden nod to the likes of Ocean’s Eleven they require a group of specialists. This is where they raid the back-catalogue of characters.

The cast definitely seem on a high and there are some really funny moments and great dialogue as they bicker and cajole. This fleshes out the utterly mind-blowing action scenes. If you thought the opening stunts in the last few films were a little over-the-top, you’ve seen nothing yet.

And that’s nothing compared to the final sequence. Good – and indeed – grief. For those with as much as a Physics GCSE, kindly partition off that section of your brain (particularly the segment to do with friction, force, acceleration and so forth) otherwise you’ll just turn in to a gibbering Newtonian wreck. I opted to sit there and giggle at the incredible destruction and sheer ludicrousness of the entire thing.

I know it’s only April, but I can see this ranking as one of the best action films of the year by the time we hit Christmas. Like all the best shows it leaves the audience wanting more. Whether we’ll get that is anyone’s guess.

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