Royal Mail. Ticketmaster. Fucktards.

Several months ago I ordered a few tickets to go and see Fear Factory in January. The dates were shifted to April, so I couldn’t go due to disappearing off round the world. The friends I was going with said they could get someone else to use my ticket, so I tried to get in touch with Ticketmaster to have my tickets sent to them instead, what with me not actually having a house and all.

The only way they’d do it was to be sent a fax including a copy of a credit card statement for the card used to buy the tickets with the new address on. For fuck’s sake. Let’s give a not completely unrealistic hypothesis: you buy tickets 4 months in advance for a gig, the tickets won’t be shipped till 2 weeks beforehand, you move house and you cancel the card you bought the tickets on. You’re fucked.

Anyway, I rang my credit card company and changed my address to my mates’. This makes no odds to me as I pay off the full balance by direct debit anyway. After a week or two, a statement comes through. I pick it up and do the paperwork. Sorted.

Or so you think.

I just got an email from Mel. She missed the postie by 5 mins and now has one of those nice “we waited till we saw you leave the house then shoved this card through your door in lieu of the stuff you actually wanted” cards. On ringing the number on the back, they’ve refused to rearrange a redelivery unless I call them.

Now, hang on. She’s asking for a redelivery to the same house they’re addressed to. Now, if her husband rings them up and asks them to do it, they likely will. Because, having a slightly deeper voice, he can just say he’s me. Likewise, if Mel wants to go and pick them up then “I” have to sign the card to say I’m sending someone else to collect them. Of course, the Mail don’t have a copy of my signature to compare to, so again she can just forge it and go and get the bloody things.

Once again, I am aghast at how utterly stupid and petty the Royal Mail are. Dumbstruck. They really take the phrase “we are utter and complete fucking shite and will do our best to only get worse” to heart. I think I may suggest it to them as their new company mission statement. At least they’ll be onto a winner with that one.

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