Tonight is going to be fun. I have a task to undergo. It’s a quest I’ve set myself and injury may result. Death, possibly, but it would be a slow one by poisoning or blood loss through many small cuts.

You see, the problem is this: KitKat has taken to going out in the evening for her late-night ablutions. This is a good thing in that it means she’s less likely to use her litter tray (and in the process cover the bathroom floor with grit when she “digs”). Conversely, it has its downfalls in that she inevitably returns with “clunkers”.

This is a Kim word. My scatty housemate has coined this term as an alternative to “winnets” or “tagnuts“. Look them up, be disgusted but hey – she’s a cat with long hair. These things happen. Mind you, these lumps are half the size of my thumb in some cases, so something must be done.

Hence tonight’s task. With Kim’s aid (not that I’ve asked her yet), I aim to pin KitKat down (using the neck scruff / rag doll technique) and clip the hair around her rusty sheriff’s badge.

If I can still type with two fingers, I’ll report once things are done. I don’t know who’s looking forward to this the least.

16 thoughts on “Clunkers”

  1. everyone knows the term is ‘klingons’

    but good luck with your quest – don’t go slipping with those scissors, she’s already had one operation this month, everything that’s in there now is MEANT to be there…

  2. while we’re on the subject, once had to chase one of our cats round the house as he had a blade of grass sticking out of his starfish & kept rubbing his arse on the carpet to try & get it out (must have tickled or something!)
    Kept chasing, just getting hold of the end & pulling but he obviously hadn’t been big on chewing that day so more & more of it kept coming out, it was like some fecked up magic trick

    [shudders at the memory]

  3. Oh dear. Giggling at your chore, Mosh, and also yours, Janet. Thankfully, my cat is short haired, and I have never had to deal with anything of this nature.

  4. My sister in laws late cat, not the same one that ate onions a blog or so ago, cat that is, same sister inlaw (confused?, me too) used to get those things, what fun!! Bathing the doberman was much easier! Good Luck mate.

  5. he he Mosh, me thinks for your poll… words to be used for little poo balls attached to cats fur lol.. see which is the most accepted and go with that lol..

  6. hi anni – my grassy-ass cat was a short hair so you’re not out of the woods yet – something to look forward to!

    so Mosh – no post yet, does this mean that you lost all your fingers through pointy slashing claw / needle-sharp teeth / soft defenceless human flesh interfacing???

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