I’ll burn for this

As recompense for the following…

Another charity call, folks. Ray McDermott is a Toon fan who’s not going to be watching the semi-final next weekend. Instead, he’ll be running the London Marathon in aid of the Royal British Legion.

Chuck a few bob his way if you can afford it. Thanks.

All this religion stuff

5-Live had a great discussion this morning. They actually found the one person in Britain brave enough to come on and bad-mouth the Pope and all he stands for. In the interests of fair play and balance, a staunch Catholic was put up against him. This is fair – you should always hear both sides of an argument.

The texts and emails that followed were unreal. This guy was slaughtered for having his own opinion. Most of them stated that he shouldn’t be allowed on the radio, and his opinions shouldn’t be public. Now, hang on, but if we went that way just to keep the Catholics happy wouldn’t be be just as bad as China or countries under Taliban rule?

For crying out loud, we’re a country that has more freedom of speech than the US now enjoys – and they still claim to be the “land of the free”. Now, I have nothing against Catholics in the slightest. I just have something against people who have this weird idea that we should all be free to express ourselves as we wish, as long as our opinions coincide with theirs. One of the comments was hilarious – “I don’t see how we should have a non-Catholic desseminating our doctrine”. Who better? When an enquiry is launched, you don’t get someone involved in it to go through the paperwork, do you? You get an independent arbitrator who’s as uninvolved as possible.

The bible, apparently, tells us we all have free will to go and do as we please. Several branches of christianity teach this, yet they all seem to get miffed if you go ahead and do it. Now wait – I’m being told by the stated “rules” that I’m supposed to stick by these guidelines, but it’s up to me should I choose to ignore them. OK, that’s fine. But why then get so pissed off with me if I decide to do just that?

I also believe that the meek shall inherit the earth. Which doesn’t explain why the pope lived in a palatial residence and was waited on hand and food. OK, so he’s not had a shag – ever – but that’s his choice. And what about following the will of the big guy upstairs? Religious Dude seemed to be doing his best to not become Dead Religious Dude for quite some time. In fact, he had three doctors attending to him at once. Surely, the truly christian thing would be to recognise that his time had come and to send them away to tend to someone who had a chance to pull through?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure he was a nice guy, but I’d not put him on the same plinth as Mother Theresa. She really did sacrifice everything for people less well off than her. No bullet-proof cars, first-class flights, crowds of followers and gold trinkets. There was a person we can all look up to and say “I wish I could set such a fantastic example to my kids”.

As for the funeral and stuff, I mean come on. It’s not exactly the best way to spend a few days, is it? What’s wrong with going to the zoo, or catching a film? Nah, several million people want to gawp at a well-dressed corpse. Look, if you want to see well-dressed corpses, head over to New York and wander round for a bit. You’re bound to find a few kicking about in the alleys.

As an aside, I notice all European matches this week have started with a 1-minute silence and players wearing black armbands for the Dead Religious Dude. This is a UEFA decision, though I don’t know the fine if a team refused. It’s a moot point, but I’m just wondering exactly how quiet the crowd at Ibrox would be…

While I’m on a religious rant, if the big JC was so bloody clever he could turn water into wine, why couldn’t ge turn oak into balsa? That’d have made it a bit difficult for them to get the nails to stick in and they might have had to let him go.

Weekend happenings

They’re doing a draw at work, and someone asked if I had any idea what horse was going to win on Saturday. “That one with the big teeth, who’s marrying the jug-eared ****” was my reply.

My final degree grade

Well, I’ve found the document that’s used to work out the grades and – assuming I pass the two courses I’m doing this year – I now know what I’ll get at the end.

Third Class.

I cannot affect this. It’s what I’ll get regardless of whether I pass the two remaining courses with flying colours, or by the skin of my teeth. As if I needed any more excuse to take my foot off the gas!