Political incorrectness

Free trainers!

Apparently “extremist groups” are recruiting youngsters with freebies, such as new, brand-name trainers. Yes, kid, free Nikes! Just ignore the fuses sticking out of the heels and the fact that they smell vaguely of dynamite. Oh, and here’s a free plane ticket to the US to go with them.

A woman’s place

Have you ever noticed how often woman go on about men leaving the loo seat up? Now hang on a minute. I want to pee way more often than I want to crap. So, frankly, having to lift the seat that you lot selfishly leave down all the time is really starting to piss me off. Lift the damn thing when you’re done, will you?

There’s also the oft-rehashed detective bit where a guy guesses his wife’s been shagging around when he comes home and finds the toilet seat up (see The Last Boy Scout for an example). Hang on, there, Mr Suspicious. Have you ever thought that maybe she’s just been scrubbing it clean? After all, that’s what she’s there for.

Mind, if you share that attitude, she probably is shagging around.

Racist literature

I got some crap in the mail yesterday. The official BNP candidate’s pamphlet. And what a right fat ****** he is as well. He looks like Santa with a scowl. And bigger sideburns. And probably a big ******* swastika tattooed on the back of his head.

The bumph briefly mentions stopping immigration, concentrates on zero tolerance towards drugs, keeping care homes for the elderly own (very “Driving Miss Daisy” I’m sure, with all the Nigres used to wait on tables), and an increase in police presence (with a right to club any darkie who dares to look at them, most likely)… but doesn’t actually state that he’s a racist bastard. Just the boring “A vote for the BNP is a vote for common sense”. They missed off the end bit: “if you’re a ****”.

Annoyingly, I’m all for most of their policies. But I don’t like a party that also hates people on the grounds of their race or colour. I’m making a wild guess that the candidate’s not Jewish.

Actually, there’s an idea. Any Jews out there fancy turning up and running for membership of the BNP? See how many excuses they make to stop you? After all, based on the policies put forward in the leaflet I got there’s nothing that any good, honest Jewish person would disagree with so they must be a nice party. Common sense, really.

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anni

The ‘leaving the toilet seat up’ argument was one which I only heard about very late. I guess it’s cos my mom never bothered about it, but it’s really never been a issue with me.

Good job, when I have 3 toilets. And you make a point of using them all.

Dawn (webmiztris)

“if you’re a ****” – heeheehee!!

Da Goldfish

Are you drunk? I’ve never seen so many typos in one of your posts before.

Wasn’t there a TV programme on not so long ago where this black guy went down to join the BNP? I don’t remember what happened, I just remember the fascist ******* looking thoroughly confused and asking, “You are aware of what our policies are?” Quality.

Shooting Parrots

Did you hear that BNP comment last week? “Just because a dog is born in a barn doesn’t make it a horse.” On the bloody BBC too, the git.

Mosh

Parrot – that comment (the BNP’s) makes no sense! Just like their race-related policies…

Goldfish – I was at work when I was typing it up, and have to keep closing the window down when someone walks past! The previous post had *more* errors in until I went through and corrected them.

Anni – if you *will* go on about having so many loos, you’ve got to expect people to want to check them out. Note that I alwasy reserve my biggest, smelliest dump for your en suite. I’m nice like that.

anni

I didn’t notice that. I did notice the one you did in my downstairs one though (hard to miss the smell!).

Mosh

Blame Andy’s g/f. She was force-feeding me Brown Ale all night. It has that effect on my poops.

anni

*chokes*

Andy’s gf? Force-feeding you? Funny, I seem to have forgotten the part where she held you down on the floor and forced a tube down your throat.

Mosh

She could pin me down any time… erm… Andy – ignore that bit.

badly dubbed boy/Andy

I seem to recall a story that the National Front dumped the BNP because the BNP had a Sikh columnist. I did see a Daily Mail (so probably untrue ) headline that some kind of survey of ethnic minorities had concluded that a third of them thought there were too many ethnics or something.

And I’ll ask the gf what she thinks of pinning you down… 😛

Mosh

There was something recently where “minorities” were surveyed and the majority reckoned we should cut down on immigrants. Of course, how many of those surveyed were 2nd generation Brits and how many had been here for 3 days they didn’t make clear.

And don’t… she’s Welsh. She’ll hit me.